MSTies Anonymous: The Club: Frequently Asked Questions

Frequently Asked Questions
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Q: What is MSTies Anonymous?
A: MSTies Anonymous is a club for all fans of Mystery Science Theater 3000 on the Internet. It was founded on the XBAND Video Game Network by Torgo and Sabin Rene Figaro in September, 1995. Through a long and grueling process, the club slowly moved to the Internet from the dying obscure service. Newsletters were sent to coordinate club activities and this site was originally put up during the XBAND days, which officially ended in April, 1997. The ball just keeps on rolling and this site and its membership continue to grow. Today it boasts a huge membership of MSTies from the United States, Canada, Japan, Taiwan, Mexico, the United Kingdom, Aruba, and Singapore. Hey, we're second only to the official MST3K Information Club!

Q: Does the word "Anonymous" mean that this is a support group?
A: No, just the opposite! Members of MSTies Anonymous do NOT want to quit watching Mystery Science Theater 3000. MSTies here will only support your addiction and obsession with the best cow-town puppet show around. Besides, we don't have enough liscensed psychiatrists on our staff to call ourselves a support group. "Hi, my name is MSTAnon, and I'm a MSTie..." "Hi, MSTAnon!" I don't dig that, soul brother.

Q: What is Mystery Science Theater 3000?
A: Hey, this wouldn't really be a site about MST3K without describing the premise of the show!

In the not-too-distant future, Joel Robinson worked at the Gizmonics Institute of Naīve Science as a janitor. Everyone there greeted each other not with a simple "Hello," but with Invention Exchanges of their latest works. Joel's bosses, Dr. Clayton Forrester and Dr. Lawrence Erhardt, were annoyed by the fact that his inventions were frequently better than theirs, so they konked him on the noggin and shot him into space in a craft of his own design, the Satellite of Love. Marooned in space by the mad scientists, Joel constructed four robot friends out of the extra parts lying around to keep him company: Cambot, Gypsy, Tom Servo, and Crow T. Robot. The mad scientists, planning to exact their revenge on Joel, devised an evil scheme to send him the worst movies ever made and drive him insane in order to... rule the world. Joel and the 'Bots used their extreme wit to endure every turkey they were subjected to.
Shortly after MST3K left Minneapolis UHF TV station KTMA 23 for Comedy Central on cable, Dr. Erhardt was pronounced missing by the new assistant to Dr. Forrester in Deep 13 far beneath Gizmonics, TV's Frank. Dr. F. and Frank would spend many years together in Deep 13, torturing Joel and the 'Bots with stinky movies to no avail until halfway through Season 5.
The Mads hired a temp named Mike Nelson to help out during a "hectic" audit and planned to off him. Gypsy overheard the plans to get rid of the bejumpsuited fool and with Mike's help, sent Joel back to Earth on the Deus Ex Machina from out of a box of hamdingers. The Mads' experiment needed a new test case, so they konked Mike on the noggin and shot him into space.
Mike and the 'Bots went on to take out many stiflingly bad flicks before TV's Frank was assumed into Second Banana Heaven by Torgo the White, in a glorious coronation.
Distrought over the loss of his faithful, ever killable assistant, Dr. F.'s mother Pearl moved in for an indetermined amount of time to ease his pain. But when the funding for his experiment was cut, Dr. Forrester disconnected the Umbilicus that had held the Satellite of Love in a geosynchronous orbit for 2 years and prepared to leave with his mom. Instead of burning up upon re-entry, the SOL shot off to the end of the Universe where Mike and the 'Bots turned into pure beings of energy and went off to play. Back in Deep 13, Dr. F. turned into a Star Child a la 2001: A Space Odyssey and started over with his mother's neglegent care.
Dr. F. died by Pearl's smothering. Pearl had her body cryogenically frozen for 500 years and was finally thawed out by a race of apes 500 years later. Exacting her revenge on the newly-returned SOL crew by continuing her son's evil experiment of bad movie screenings, Pearl chased them to the ends of the Universe with Professor Bobo and Observer as stowaways.

Q: Which web publisher do you use to create this site?
A: Oh, I use this really expensive, state-of-the-art HTML program called... Notepad.

Q: When do you usually update the site?
A: It really varies, depending on the amount that members contribute and what's happening with MST3K and the club. Basically, whenever I have enough material for an update and feel like putting it up. So stay tuned! And keep your browser refreshed.

Q: Are there any open spots on your crew?
A: Yes. Tell me why you're right for the job listed below. Are you qualified?

Potentate: This motivated, dedicated staff member would be responsible for creating and leading a local chapter of MSTies Anonymous in their state of residence. They would host regular meetings for the purpose of screening both MST3K episodes and raw movies to riff, as well as provide an excellent forum for tape trading, 'Bot building, or just schmoozing with fellow MSTies. This staffer would also furnish local rosters, event schedules, and photo galleries for a page on this site within The Club section to help promote their chapter of MSTies Anonymous.

Q: Can I help with the site but not be on staff?
A: Yes, contributions to any area of the site are always welcomed and credited. All that's required is that you be a member of the club.

Q: What are the benefits of joining the club?
A: All club members of MSTies Anonymous receive the SOL Post (formerly the MSTies Anonymous Newsletter: News for the Obscure Convergence) regularly, keeping them up-to-date on club and MST3K news and activities. Since our newsletter is an open forum, members are encouraged to write material for it. They can get into the Members' Forum, where they can trade tapes and 'Bot parts, as well as see who else is in the club. Members are registered to play Jeopardy!-esque MST3K Trivia and compete for Rhino tapes. High membership rates also keep this site open and updated regularly.

Q: Is there any catch to joining, though? Are members bombarded by ads?
A: No, the e-mail addresses of our members are NOT sold to advertisers as this is a non-profit club for entertainment only. As part of this club, members only receive the SOL Post every month, requests for newsletter contributions, and messages from fellow members via e-mail. The MSTies Anonymous staff makes no money whatsoever out of this venture. In fact, we actually spend some of our own money on it! Rest assured, there's no Spam in here!

Q: OK, you've convinced me! How do I sign up?
A: Easy. Just fill in the registration form and "Push the Button, Frank!"

Q: Why is this club even running?
A: Oh, bite me! It's fun! JOIN US!!!

Back to The Club.
Back to MSTies Anonymous.

	In the not-too-distant future, Joel Robinson worked at the Gizmonics Institute of Naīve Science as a janitor. Everyone there greeted each other not with a simple "Hello," but with Invention Exchanges of their latest works. Joel's bosses, Dr. Clayton Forrester and Dr. Lawrence Erhardt, were annoyed by the fact that his inventions were frequently better than theirs, so they konked him on the noggin and shot him into space in a craft of his own design, the Satellite of Love. Marooned in space by the mad scientists, Joel constructed four robot friends out of the extra parts lying around to keep him company: Cambot, Gypsy, Tom Servo, and Crow T. Robot. The mad scientists, planning to exact their revenge on Joel, devised an evil scheme to send him the worst movies ever made and drive him insane in order to... rule the world. Joel and the 'Bots used their extreme wit to endure every turkey they were subjected to.
	Shortly after MST3K left Minneapolis UHF TV station KTMA 23 for Comedy Central on cable, Dr. Erhardt was pronounced missing by the new assistant to Dr. Forrester in Deep 13 far beneath Gizmonics, TV's Frank. Dr. F. and Frank would spend many years together in Deep 13, torturing Joel and the 'Bots with stinky movies to no avail until halfway through Season 5.
	The Mads hired a temp named Mike Nelson to help out during a "hectic" audit and planned to off him. Gypsy overheard the plans to get rid of the bejumpsuited fool and with Mike's help, sent Joel back to Earth on the Deus Ex Machina from out of a box of hamdingers. The Mads' experiment needed a new test case, so they konked Mike on the noggin and shot him into space.
	Mike and the 'Bots went on to take out many stiflingly bad flicks before TV's Frank was assumed into Second Banana Heaven by Torgo the White, in a glorious coronation.
	Distrought over the loss of his faithful, ever killable assistant, Dr. F.'s mother Pearl moved in for an indetermined amount of time to ease his pain. But when the funding for his experiment was cut, Dr. Forrester disconnected the Umbilicus that had held the Satellite of Love in a geosynchronous orbit for 2 years and prepared to leave with his mom. Instead of burning up upon re-entry, the SOL shot off to the end of the Universe where Mike and the 'Bots turned into pure beings of energy and went off to play. Back in Deep 13, Dr. F. turned into a Star Child a la 2001: A Space Odyssey and started over with his mother's neglegent care.
	Dr. F. died by Pearl's smothering. Pearl had her body cryogenically frozen for 500 years and was finally thawed out by a race of apes 500 years later. Exacting her revenge on the newly-returned SOL crew by continuing her son's evil experiment of bad movie screenings, Pearl chased them to the ends of the Universe with Professor Bobo and Observer as stowaways.