| MSTies Anonymous Newsletter 11 | 08/15/97 |
| MSTies Anonymous Newsletter 10 | 07/15/97 |
| MSTies Anonymous Newsletter 9 | 06/15/97 |
| MSTies Anonymous Newsletter 11 | 08/15/97 |
| MSTies Anonymous Newsletter 10 | 07/15/97 |
| MSTies Anonymous Newsletter 9 | 06/15/97 |
In This Issue
From the Poobah
"Is MST3K Still Art?" by Cool6000@juno.com
"The I-Way is Backed Up With Bummmer to Bummer Traffic" by S364128@urgrgcc.edu
"More College Cheese" by astone@st1.wou.edu
"The Hand That Rocked The Boat" by schirmer@uslink.net
"MST and HLN" by tomservo@tiac.net
"Cornjob's Corner" by Cornjob@hotmail.com
July MSTie of the Month: JChrapcyn@aol.com
MST3K Trivia with Cambot@webtv.net Winners
August MST3K Schedule on SFC
Disclaimers
From the Poobah
Hi, Everyone. Let's Pitch In 'N' Get Cracking Here In Louisiana Doing Right,
Eh? Now Then, Hateful, Rich, Overbearing, Ugly Guys Hurt Royally Everytime
Someone Eats A Radish, Carrot, Hors d'ourve And Never Does Dishes. Eventually,
Victor Eats Lunch Over Peoria Mit Ein Neusberger Tor. (Thanks to MrBNtrl for the
transcript!) Is it just me, or are you folks browsing the Members' Forum and not
posting/interacting? Cool6000 went to all the trouble of issuing new
passwords... Oh, whatever. I hope you enjoy the soon-to-be-tweaked forum.
Now that we're beyond the initial 13 episodes of Season 8, I'm already
looking forward to Turkey Day '97. If SFC knows what it's doing, it'll run
Season 8 in its entirety come Turkey Day Weekend. Cross your fingers, and/or
write to SFC! Rest assured, there will be a special edition of the MSTies
Anonymous Newsletter for Turkey Day, just like last year. Think about it, won't
you? Eltriptephane goodness!
Until next time, this is MSTAnon, signing off.
"Is MST3K Still Art?" by Cool6000@juno.com
I like MST3K because of the amateurish arty quality that Joel always gave it.
Over the years, after Joel left the show, MST3K has become more and more of a
commercial thing. With the addition of things like stereo, better quality
puppets, sets, characters, video and all kinds of other expensive showy stuff,
it has all but lost its meaning. It's just like "The Simpsons." When it first
came, each cartoon had a moral, or some humorous sub-plot, where you learn
something. Now it's just joke after joke after joke after joke. Now, personally,
I like that change. But not all people do. There is some controversy over what
art is and isn't. My belief is that for art to be art, all you have to do is
call it art. Others believe that for art to be art, some pompous art critic has
to come along and call it art. To me, that's just kind of silly. It doesn't have
to be good art for it to be art. Now MST3K isn't calling itself art anymore. Is
MST3K still art after 8 years of yuppitizing? Or is it just a bunch of
commercial mumbo jumbo all slapped together with a bunch of money? Send replies
to: cool6000@juno.com. Results will be posted in the next newsletter. "Oh no! I
have to think."
"The I-Way is Backed Up With Bummmer to Bummer Traffic" by S364128@urgrgcc.edu
Hi, as you might heard, the CD project has died. I just hope that Best Brains
makes a video of the cut project. They could put the shorts they did and
everything else on video with the cut pieces of MST3K: The Movie. They could
call it the "Cutting Room Floor" collection. But part of me is glad that this
project is dead. Why? Because I have a computer as slow as a Pinto or VW.
Yes, I don't have any fanged connection or CD player to go with my computer.
I just have normal computer and it is very slow when I surf the Info Highway. So
why don't I get this computer upgrade or get some of this fanged stuff? Because
I'm cheap and so is my father. I have to pay for books and classes for college.
I haven't have enough money to go out let alone a new connection. When ask my
dad to spend the money to get our computer upgraded, he laughed. He doesn't see
why we have get a new or upgraded computer when it dose a fine job typing up my
papers. I must say the man has a point.
Even if I did have the money to get all this fancy stuff I wouldn't spend on
this computer and Info Highway. Manily because I can think of few other things I
need more. Plus I often think of Crow when he got all this highly powered,
highly expensive stuff to get on the info Highway. When he finally gets on, what
does he see? "Hi. Do you want to play four person boogers?" Now, even with my
slow computer, I have seen stuff just as stupid as that. It makes me wonder what
I would see if I had a fast computer.
Even if the connection and upgrading were free I doubt I could put it in. I'm
not that informed or know a lot about computer setup. To me, it's like a foreign
language. I'm not saying that I'm technology stupid because I'm not. In fact, I
can get my VCR to stop flashing twelve and record something while watching
something else. I guess I kind of feel like Tom when he was trying to setup his
computer. "I guess you want someone to come over, point where the file is, get
it and wink at you." Yes I do. I want someone who know what they're doing and
point out what to do.
But my biggest beef about the Info Highway is those graphics. I spend forever
looking at blank screen waiting for my document to come up because of graphics.
I don't think I'm the only one with this problem. Sure, they're nice and cool.
But If I want look at picture, I'll go to an art gallery. I'm surfing the web
for info, not pictures. When you first get connected they should ask how much
your computer can download so you don't have to wait forever on some graphics.
They should also ask your age or ages of your kids so we could keep that dirty
stuff away from them. In fact, if you have to wait for something to come up on
your computer, I want you to tell me what you do in that time. Do you read a
magazine? Talk to your computer? Or do you spin around in your chair until
you get sick? Write to me at S364128@urgrgcc.edu.
"More College Cheese" by astone@st1.wou.edu
This is for all of you who wrote to me about The W-Files, WSTV's X-Files
parody. The WSTV homepage is at last up and running, and you will find a link to
The W-Files homepage there. The address is:
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Hills/4324/wstv.html
Visit and send comments to me please!!
Thank you much,
Abbey
"The Hand That Rocked The Boat" by schirmer@uslink.net
Who doesn't remember the evening, that 1993 evening. Mystery Science Theater
3000's fourth and most successful season was coming to a close. It was a cold
Minnesota night, I remember, and the fact that no new MST3K episodes would tide
me over for the whole summer seemed to make it colder. Little did I realize,
however, exactly what that night would spur in MST history.
"And the hand began it's descension..."
A forgotten film, one produced by and starring a fertilizer salesman from El
Paso, Texas, had been dug up. Best Brains was scraping the bottom of the barrel
with this one, but the title itself seemed to chant eerily, "MiST me...!" That
title has sent chills to our hearts a thousand times before, and as I write it
now, there is no exception. The title: "MANOS: The Hands of Fate."
"... It grasped tightly along the wooden frame..."
The awaited conclusion to the "Hired!" short was great, smattering such lines
as, "But he bought the flippin' car!!" and "The Flying Elves are back!!", or
something along those lines. BB didn't plan on letting us down for the summer
sabbatical. Everything was in order. Fifteen minutes into the show, we went into
commerical break...
"... The clutch tightened, almost to the point of pain..."
When Joel and the 'bots returned, I had a soft drink in one hand, ready to
continue the episode. I remember the first shot so well -- the old, blue car
slowly turning on to the dirt road -- and remember the feeling it gave me. For
some reason, I was suddenly colder. Joel threw a crack at the screen, something
like, "This is the slowest car chase sequence ever!" and I laughed a little,
trying to shake the feeling.
"... and it began to rock..."
But it didn't leave.
"... and *rock*..."
Then, there was Torgo...
"... and *ROCK*...!"
I need not go in to any more depth. Any average MiSTie knows the story of
Mike and his wife on the trip gone horribly wrong. The movie gave us a cold
feeling inside, and although respected as one of the best episodes of MST3K
ever, still gives me that chill every time I watch it.
I'm no stranger to MANOS. I am currently finishing details on the script (and
homepage dedicated on the subject) of the MANOS sequel. The movie, if that is
what it can really be called, shook me that much, to the point of trying to
recreate that same feeling myself.
"...And suddenly, the boat rocked too far."
Perhaps I've gone off the boat, into the deep end, since that night. All I
know is that I'm not alone. MANOS touched us and scared (and scarred) us in a
way no other movie has. It left us feeling all shaken up. Even with Joel and his
robot pals' help.
Maybe that's what made it enjoyable. The MiSTie jokes.
Or maybe, it was something else...
"Perhaps the Master wouldn't approve..."
"MST and HLN" by tomservo@tiac.net
As I write this, I still haven't seen Jack Frost. I taped it because I wasn't
at home last night. Shocking as it sounds, I had another engagement. I went to
see the only people more important to me that the crew of the Satellite of
Love... Huey Lewis and the News.They do have a head start... I saw my first HLN
show in August, 1984-- a full decade before my first MST3K.
Upon getting into the entire MST universe, I found that the two weren't
rivals for my affections, but in fact had much in common. As I got to know the
Best Brains, I saw that like HLN, they had the same down to earth attitude,
no-nonsense intensity about their work, cheeky, good-humored view of the rest of
the world (except for family, friends, and athletics), and unswerving respect
for their audience.
Then there is the plesant surprise of catching references-- Crow's Catalina
Caper line "Scantily clad women and a Huey Lewis and the News song on the
radio... this is the kind of padding I LIKE in a movie!"
Or Joel's observance that the broad-shouldered, plaid-shirt wearing cannery
worker menacing Crystal Bernard in Master Ninja II had to be Huey. That was his
80's look... such confusion can't happen today, now that he's moved up to suits
in fashionable colors like aubergene and cinammon. Not to mention the
reassurance that Huey is NOT a singer to be tossed from the top of a lighthouse
by Tom Stewart.
Teenage Crimewave happens to be a Clover Production, so that means "Elvis
Costello's backup band made this?"-- the group which DID include Huey (however,
he didn't play on the sessions for Costello's debut album, My Aim is True-- he
was out of town). And their home town happens to be one of the few used for a
setting in a MSTed movie-- San Francisco (International).
Of course, another place where the two touch base is merchandising. I have
videos, CDs, laser discs, T-shirts, posters, calendars, and books from them
both. Still, I have gone to Minneapolis in the name of MST, but no further than
Lake Placid, New York for HLN (and that's because I won it in a radio station
contest).
I have long contributed to Newsline, the fan-run HLN paper. They run a
feature called "Ask the Band", where readers can send in questions to the
members, which they answer at their convenience, to be printed in future
episodes. I put them to the test, and asked if they watched, and if so, who's
their favorite robot. We are all pleased to know that MST is a fave rave of
drummer Bill Gibson, keyboardist (and ex-Cloverite who DID play) Sean Hopper-- a
serious Crow fan-- and lead guitarist Chris Hayes, who didn't get to see it as
much as he wished, since his cable didn't get Comedy Central (at the time I
asked-- I will get an update).
Finally, for me there is a connection that is in fact comforting. In terms of
chronological age (if not in years viewing) at 33 I am on the older side of the
median age of MST fans. This is just the way it was back in the 80s with HLN. It
felt good to look upon myself as an intelligent college student repsonding to
top-flight musicianship and regular-Joe personality by six hard-working guys. I
could stand above the crowds of squealing, hormone-addled adolescent females
squealing for the hunk with the harmonica, who could have been backed by the
Shriners' Club kazoo band for all they cared. Now I am on the young end of the
audience, and I am just a little bothered. Mentally, I identify all those people
with hair graying (or going) with my parents, and HLN (& BBI) with myself. Then,
HLN did call their greatests-hits collection Time Flies. I wouldn't mind,
however, if it slowed down a little for the Brains.
"Cornjob's Corner" by Cornjob@hotmail.com
Welcome to my corner in which I dive deep into your psyche and help you out with
your MST3K problems. Well I'm not really a licensed therapist, but I do make a
mean lasagna. Let's get started shall we?
1.(Q) Dear Cornjob,
Is it wrong that I worry about former MST3K cast members? I'm especially
worried about Joel. I don't understand why he left Sabrina. He seemed to be
loving his job,the show is very successful, and he was only on for one season.
Am I worried that he can't pay his rent? Probably. I'm just worried about him.
Signed,
Concerned in Connecticut
(A)Well, Concerned,
It's not really wrong for you to worry. You are not evil or anything for
worrying (well, you may be evil but just not for that reason). Most likely Joel
wasn't very satisfied with his work on "Sabrina: the Teenage Witch." I don't
believe he was much involved with that show in the first place. I wouldn't
worry, he is working on many things now, I think. Like screenplays, other TV
shows, and he is very much involved in inventing things. Plus, he must have some
money stashed away from his MST days. If money was tight for him, then he
wouldn't have left the job. He's very intelligent. Don't fret, he is probably
not in the gutter on the streets of LA but in some fancy shmancy house, condo,
loft, apartment, or igloo. Hope that relieves your concern.
2.(Q) Dear Cornjob,
My family keeps complaining about my collection of MST tapes. It's
overcrowding the entire video cabinet, forcing other tapes out. Is it just me,
or do I have too many... What should I do? Please help!
Signed,
Restless in the Rockies
(A)Dear Restless,
I have basically the same problem only I don't have that many tapes. My
thoughts are that you can never have too many MST3K tapes. The more the merrier,
I always say. But what you could do is just store the MST3K tapes you have in a
separate place like a box or something like that. That way you would still have
the tapes at hand, leaving room for other tapes on the cabinet with no freezer
burn and no guff from family members. It's just a simple compromise. If you are
handy around the house, you could build a special shelf designed specifically
for MST. And if none of that works out you could always move out. Just kidding.
I'll be held responsible, so don't do that.
What? That's it? Just two? Oh well. It's a start at least. Please, folks, I urge
you to send your Q's to me, Cornjob. My E-mail is Cornjob@hotmail.com. Your
questions can be humorous or serious. When posting a question, I will not reveal
your e-mail address or name unless you ask me to. Just mail me with your
question ranging from anything MST3K related and remember to give a clever name
like Kickin' in Kentucky, Sleepless in Seattle or Dumbfounded in Denver...
something like that. I'm always looking to help you out.
Good bye for now, and remember... my corner is always open.
July MSTie of the Month: JChrapcyn@aol.com
Oh thank you, thank you all!!!!!
(Sniffle.) I've never won anything in my entire life- now I'm fullfilled- oh
joy!
(Yeah right.)
OK well, let's see....
Thanks, later!
MST3K Trivia with Cambot@webtv.net Winners
Hi guys! Let's just get into the trivia:
#11 still hasn't been answered for nearly two months now. I didn't know this was
going to be so hard, so I'll just say it was one of the Mike episodes in Season
Five.
#12 was answered by Cindy327. She correctly said Bobo is "son of Coco and proud
heir to the lineage of Godo, Bogo, and Chim Chimp."
#13 was of course "Dr. Clayton Debrah Susan Forrester." RudyWZ gets this one.
#14 ironically was answered by JohnAgar who said "John Agar has appeared in 4
MST films."
#15 was correctly answered by Cloister. Gamera's pal was indeed Kenny. (Ah, the
memories...)
#16 was guessed right by Cornjob, who has answered more trivia questions right
than anybody else. Crow's silent friend was named Timmy.
As for #17 and 18, those are still up for grabs!
Good luck!
August MST3K Schedule on SFC
(All times Eastern and are subject to change)
| Airdate | Time | ### | Episode
| 8/01
| 6:30 PM
|
| The Making of MST3K
| 8/02
| 1:30 PM
|
| The Making of MST3K
| 8/02
| 5:00 PM
| 815
| Agent from H.A.R.M.
| 8/02
| 11:00 PM
| 815
| Agent from H.A.R.M.
| 8/03
| 10:30 AM
|
| The Making of MST3K
| 8/04
| 2:00 AM
|
| The Making of MST3K
| 8/04
| 6:00 PM
|
| The Making of MST3K
| 8/08
| 2:30 PM
|
| The Making of MST3K
| 8/09
| 5:00 PM
| 816
| Prince of Space
| 8/09
| 11:00 PM
| 816
| Prince of Space
| 8/10
| 1:00 AM
|
| The Making of MST3K
| 8/10
| 9:00 AM
|
| The Making of MST3K
| 8/16
| 5:00 PM
| 803
| The Mole People
| 8/16
| 11:00 PM
| 803
| The Mole People
| 8/23
| 5:00 PM
| 811
| Parts: the Clonus Horror
| 8/23
| 11:00 PM
| 811
| Parts: the Clonus Horror
| 8/30
| 5:00 PM
| 812
| The Incredibly Strange Creatures
| 8/30
| 11:00 PM
| 812
| The Incredibly Strange Creatures
| |
|---|
Disclaimers
Mystery Science Theater 3000, its characters and situations are copyright 1997
Best Brains, Inc. This publication is not meant to infringe on any copyrights
held by Best Brains, the Sci-Fi Channel, or their employees.
© MCMXCVII MSTies Anonymous - mstanon@msties.com -
kret0419@blue.UnivNorthCo.edu - Cool6000@juno.com
"Check your Space Cushion..."