SOL Post 14	11/15/97
SOL Post 13	10/15/97
SOL Post 12	09/15/97

S.O.L. POST

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VOLUME 13 - HTTP://USERS.AOL.COM/MSTANON/ - OCTOBER 1997
FORMERLY THE MSTIES ANONYMOUS NEWSLETTER: NEWS FOR THE OBSCURE CONVERGENCE
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MIKE BUYS ANOTHER NEWSPAPER FROM SERVO!

In This Issue

From the Poobah
"Halloween Happiness" by S364128@urgrgcc.edu
"Untitled... and Stuff" by BobIshmael@prodigy.net
"I Want KTMA!!!" by shadai@usa.net
"MST Haiku" by mimyers2@vt.edu
"Gattaca- MST3K Subliminal? Nah." by Arkmay@pobox.com
"My First MST3K" by louann@sparknet.net
"Untitled" by gherity@freenet.msp.mn.us
November MST3K Schedule on SFC
Shameless Self-Promotion MST3K Classifieds
Disclaimers

From the Poobah

Unfortunately, three regular columns in the SOL Post aren't making an appearance this month. Cornjob's Corner, MSTie of the Month, and MST3K Trivia Winners are on hiatus, but should be back in time for the next edition. In the meantime, be sure to register for Jeopardy!-esque MST3K Trivia by writing to either Cambot@webtv.net, BjaOckX@hotmail.com, or myself. The tournament may commence as soon as Turkey Day, with prizes to be awarded to the winners. What it is, though, I can't say yet. Possibilities may include Rhino tapes and 'Bot parts... Send us your suggestions! Looking forward to Turkey Day yet? Hey, who isn't. Excelsior!

"Halloween Happiness" by S364128@urgrgcc.edu

Well, it's October and time for my favorite holiday, Halloween. It's my favorite holiday. What's the big deal about that you ask. Well, you can dress up as anything and it's okay... On a normal day if a guy wears a bunny outfit and flippers he's thrown into the lonely bin. On Halloween it's considered normal. Of all the holidays Halloween is the strangest day we have. Anything weird or spooky can happen. It's a night where ghosts and vampires can walk the street without being stared at.
Dressing up is one thing I loved to do as a kid and even now. Dressing up on this day makes me feel like a kid again. We all remember getting all dressed up into costume and going out to get candy. Usually we have to wear ordinary clothes and don't get all dolled up. Halloween gives us an excuse to put on whatever clothes we want. That shy girl could be sexy vampire. That nerd boy can be a hunky werewolf. Anything and everything is acceptable. People can put on any outfit and no one gives a damn. If you already dress how ever you feel like and don't care what other think everyday, then you're braver then me. May I suggest for those people, go naked this Halloween for your costume. Go on, shock your friends.
What if you can't think of anything to go as. Well, I have a list of costumes that you can think about. If it's cold where you live, go as the fat Elvis. If it's hot, go as the thin Elvis. (Sorry to any Elvis lovers.) Take a bucket of Colonels Kentucky fired chicken and get a white mustache and wig and go as the colonel. Go as Godzilla and be badly dubbed. Put a frame around you face and go as a picture. Go as a space slut of 2018 on planet Gloatba. Go as your favorite MST3K character. Steal some those costume ideas from "Godzilla vs. Megalon." Put on a robe and wrap a towel around your head. That way you're someone who just came out of the shower. Get out some really old outfit of yours and go as someone from that time. Get those leaves out in the yard put them on a plastic bag and go as a leaf pile or draw big black indented eyebrows and go as the evil version of you. Put on a teddy or sexy underwear and go as a lingerie model. Get real dirty and go as Pig Pen from Charlie Brown. Put sock, underwear and other cloths on an outfit and go as static cling. Put your underwear on the outside of your clothes and go as someone who got dressed in the dark. Put a yellow streak down your back and go as a coward. Make fun of someone by going as that person. Make sure to do all their annoying habits. Get some hairspray and do your hair so it's sticking up. That way you can be someone who was scared stiff. If you look like some famous person then go as them.
So dress up how you want to. You will not get another chance until next Halloween. Go out and scare some kids. Scare the older ones not the younger ones, especially those teenagers who egg houses. So have fun and be as strange as you want to. See you next month and Happy Halloween!

"Untitled... and Stuff" by BobIshmael@prodigy.net

"I Want KTMA!!!" by shadai@usa.net

Like all the MSTies out there who have started off their experience with Season 8 (or any other CC season, that is), I have made a life goal to see at least ONE full episode of a KTMA season MST3K. I've seen pictures from the Robot Roll Call (Gypsy looks like a vacuum cleaner), I've gotten an MPEG of the Door Sequence (which didn't look that bad, but I had nightmares that night.) :-) I found a WAV of the theme song, I've tried my damnedest to see and hear as much of the legendary KTMA era as possible!! And let me tell you I'm not sure HOW much more there is, except for hunting down someone with the episodes on tape. Is it fair that the MSTies from Coast to Coast never got to see these classic episodes. Sure they weren't much. The show looked even lower budget then than it does now, and I've HEARD that J&TB weren't that good in the theater.

WHO CARES?!?

I cannot die a happy man until I see one or more (preferably) of these lost episodes!

Which is why, I think anyway, that BBI should get the entire KTMA season episodes and show them all on Sci-Fi. Maybe like a Turkey Day sort of thing! Are there enough episodes? Well, perhaps they could put on some of Season 1 or something... anyway... I'm SURE that neither BBI nor Sci-Fi has the rights to these episodes. Could they BUY the rights? I mean c'mon, if it's important to their viewers, then that's all that matters, right? Is it because of Joel? He has the rights to the name "Gizmonic" (c) which also explains why after he left, they had to remove the gigantic "G" off of the door and refrain from putting it on Mike's jumpsuit. Could they get the privileges from Joel? BBI are all friends with him, so I'm sure he'd let them use the episodes as a special on Sci-Fi.

Please, fellow MSTies, voice your opinions! Write to BBI! Write to Joel! Write to Sci-Fi! Walk off your jobs!! POWER TO THE PEOPLE!!! (oops... kinda got carried away there.)

And if you decide to write to me about this, please don't write to me saying "I've seen a few KTMA episodes. Trust me, they suck!" Let me make this clear: I don't care if in the theater they just sit and watch the movie without saying anything! I *MUST* see the KTMA era!!

Another thing I don't want to hear: "Why don't you trade tapes with someone?" No... I don't do that. I really don't have anything to trade nor do I want to get rid of what I have. Besides just my luck I'll get someone who says "SUCKER!!!" or "Oh I don't have any of them. Here's a clear version of 'Pod People.'"

Thank you for reading this.

"MST Haiku" by mimyers2@vt.edu

Haiku is an ancient Japanese poetry style that was frequently used to bring the beauty of nature into a precise, simple form. Each haiku consists of three lines. The first line has five syllables; the second line has seven; and the third line has five again. Haiku can be about any subject though, and here I would like to introduce what I believe to be THE first ever MST HAIKU. Maybe this will catch on and readers can submit their own MST haiku.
Oh by the way it helps if you read them in a whisper like you're David Carradine from Kung-Fu.

"Gattaca- MST3K Subliminal? Nah." by Arkmay@pobox.com

By some bizarre coincidence, how can a recent sci-fi future "what-if" concept movie's original theatrical promo trailer make any MST3K fans' ears perk up? Easily. The makers of the new motion picture "Gattaca" know. Perhaps subliminally they're trying to connect with MST3K fans... or perhaps they're just idiots totally unaware of the cult-favorite humor 2-hour TV show scene... Gattaca's original theatrical trailer of "Gattaca" started with this line:

"In the not too distant future..."

Unbeknownst to "Gattaca" creators, but beknownst to us- they were quoting the classic intro to our favorite show, MST3K. So why exactly did they do this? I don't know. Just thought I'd let people know that they shouldn't see the movie Gattaca. It looks terrible. Anyway, current television ads for it have a totally different point of view, and don't even come *close* to paraphrasing MST3K. So it looks like Gattaca creators either decided their original promotional ideas sucked, or realized they were ignorantly stealing (per se) from entertainment better than theirs. Oh, well.

"My First MST3K" by louann@sparknet.net

It was fall, I had just gotten yet another temp job working the 3-11 shift at a company that made plastic lumber out of recycled milk jugs. That night was a terrible night at work, the extruders (the machines that make the lumber) had all broken down, and not one foot of stock was made. The supervisor came in at 10:00 and all hell hit the fan. The only advantage of working as a temp was that the company was not about to pay the temp service over-time to have me there.

I drove home in a freezing rain that just seemed to top the day off nicely. The traffic was just plain bad, the driving, awful, and only about 15 car crashes happened around me on the 30 mile trip home!!

By the time I got home, I just wanted to have a cold beer and slowly kill myself!!

I was not quite ready for what happened next. I turned the TV on, to what- ever channel happened to be on, just for some back-ground noise. Then it happened, I heard a voice calling a motor-cycle race, and I asked my-self "What the hell channel do I have on??"... I looked up and there it was... "Side-hackers", and the now famous racing scene (the one where Joel is calling the race, coming up with names for the moves)... I still only paid it little attention until I heard something that has changed my whole life to this day.

What, oh what, could someone hear that could change there entire life, you might ask??

Well, I'll tell you...I heard one of the moves called "The KC's Rolling Pizza". I swear it's there, ya gotta listen for it, it goes bye fast, but it's there nonetheless... Now, the reason this stuck in my mind is that here in Wisconsin, North-eastern Wisconsin in particular, we used to have a company with this name. The idea of the company was that they had trucks with ovens in them, and they cooked the pizza's in the truck on the way to the house... making the trip shorter, and the pizza hotter when it reached your house. Not such a bad idea except that one of the propane tanks used to supply gas to the ovens, exploded. The explosion killed 15, including the van driver.

This was the end of KC's rolling pizza... but the start of my love of MST3K!!!

Strange how even the most deadly things can help make that one little connection with an obscure reference, in a movie being flamed by some 'Bots!!! I laughed my ass off that night, and my life ain't changed since. I have purchased tapes from unknown (but nice) people on the Internet, joined a MiSTie club, and put Joel/Mike and the 'Bots cut-out every-place.

This has been a long time coming, but I would like to thank any-one that had any-thing to do with that show!!...You have made my life mush more interesting than before, and I don't know what I ever did with-out MST3K in my life!!

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

"Untitled" by gherity@freenet.msp.mn.us

Well... Another season has arrived, and huge questions are on my mind.

WITH ALL THE BAD MOVIES PRODUCED BY TROMA, WHY DON'T MST3K DO RIFFS ON THEM?
WHY WON'T MST3K DO RIFFS ON ANIME FILMS? I'VE SEEN SOME THAT STINK!
MST3K IS SUPPOSED TO BE A SCI-FI SHOW, WHY DO THEY SHOW THE OCCAISIONAL MIDEVAL MOVIE?
WHERE'S THE CHEEZY LIVE-ACTION JAPANESE ACTION MOVIES? THEY'RE WHAT MADE MST3K ONE OF MY FAVE SHOWS!
WHERE'S GODZILLA!?!?!?!?!?!

Ahem... Sorry to have gotten on a soap box there...

Oh, Misties with a mild to severe anime addiction... Wanna riff on some really BAD anime on Turkey Day? here's a viewing list!

• Project A-Ko
• G-Force (Or Eagle Riders, Or Guardians of the Galaxy... Whatever.)
• Moldiver
• Anything with those really cheesy 1/2 sized characters
• Ranma 1/2

Any more ideas? Send 'em to me... I'm trying to get together a list for a lil MST3K Anime style get-together some time around the end of the year...

I'll send the aftermath on a later article...

^_^ Sayonara Mike-San! ^_^

November MST3K Schedule on SFC

(All times are Eastern and tentative)

Airdate	Time	###	Episode
11/01	5:00 PM	815	Agent for H.A.R.M.
11/01	11:00 PM	815	Agent for H.A.R.M.
11/08	5:00 PM	820	Space Mutiny
11/08	11:00 PM	820	Space Mutiny
11/15	5:00 PM	806	The Undead
11/15	11:00 PM	806	The Undead
11/22	5:00 PM	821	Time Chasers
11/22	11:00 PM	821	Time Chasers
11/29	5:00 PM	802	The Leech Woman
11/29	11:00 PM	802	The Leech Woman

Shameless Self-Promotion MST3K Classifieds

quarshen@hotmail.com writes:
Hi! Remember me? I was the lucky one chosen as MSTie of the Month! I wrote an article to you explaining myself, and have since been informed of a mistake contained therein: my brother, Cornjob, as in Cornjob@hotmail.com, is not, and has never been the Vice President of MSTies Anonymous. I had my facts severely screwed up. I wanted to let you know that he has never claimed to be anything more than a faithful article contributor. So if you print my letter, please include this or something of your own authorship as a disclaimer. I apologize for the mistake and inconvenience.

ishboo1@hotmail.com writes:
I am a computer programmer and a MST3K fan, and was thinking about making MST3K: The Game. Well, I got to thinking, but I need some ideas. I already thought of a few "games" for the package, like, help Mike destroy planets, help Gypsy steer the SOL and ditch Pearl, and help Crow dig through the wall of the SOL. Any ideas, hints, or suggestions are wanted and greatly appreciated. Please reply to: ishboo1@hotmail.com. One more note: Once it's done, I'll make sure a version is available to all people who help. Thanx.

Disclaimers

Mystery Science Theater 3000, its characters and situations are copyright 1997 Best Brains, Inc. This publication is not meant to infringe on any copyrights held by Best Brains, the Sci-Fi Channel, or their employees.

(c) MCMXCVII MSTies Anonymous
The Poobah mstanon@msties.com
Jet Jaguar kret0419@blue.UnivNorthCo.edu
Zen Psycho Cool6000@juno.com

"It'Ll Be DaRk SoOn."

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