| SOL Post 28 | 11/26/98 |
| SOL Post 27 | 11/15/98 |
| SOL Post 26 | 10/15/98 |
S.O.L. POST
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Volume 27 - http://www.mindspring.com/~mstanon/ - November 1998
Formerly The MSTies Anonymous Newsletter: News for the Obscure Convergence
==========================================================================
JESSE "THE BODY" VENTURA DEFEATS HUMPHREY!
In This Issue
From the Poobah
"The Engineer's Crazy!" by D.Billany@loc-dog.demon.co.uk
"Tom Sawyer/Tom Servo" by mstanon@msties.com
"Jenny For Your Thoughts" by S364128@urgrgcc.edu
"MSTable Movies" by RMichel424@aol.com
"Better 'Bots and Satellites" by bgibron@yahoo.com
November MSTie of the Month: weird_1@usa.net
MST3K Trivia Winners
December MST3K Schedule on SFC
Classifieds 3000
Disclaimers
|
Tamdee@aol.com asks: "What is the name of Bill Murray's play in Tootsie? How
many times does Boba Fett appear in Star Wars?"
BobIshmael: "7. That is the answer. 7 is the answer to all. 7 is at the
center of the universe. Why 7? No particular reason. Just 7. Don't think. 7 is
all you need. This is the answer to most questions, but some people find it
unsatisfactory. These people are what are known as the Shiny Outcasts. They
don't believe that 7 is the center is the Universe. They believe, whether they
realize it or not, the Shiny is at the center of the Universe. Either way,
your questions are answered. Thanks for taking the time to write."
MSTAnon: "Umm, no. Although I live near Denver where the number 7 is
widely considered sacred, I find the opposite. The number 7 represents nothing
more than a buck-toothed cowboy turned car dealer... a Donkey, no less. I must
insist that the all-encompassing answer is in the form of a better number, say
2, 4, 13, 42, or 64. Just not 7. Oh, and GO PACKERS!!!"
BGibron says: "Hmmm, what's the matter? Bought a brand new version of Trivial
Pursuit and lost the answer key? Attempting to impress your friends and/or co-
workers with your film knowledge? Working on a doctoral thesis revolving
around the Decline of Western Culture as best displayed in obscure pop culture
references?
"Well, while this is not the proper forum for such a discussion (I do not
believe that even Penthouse would be the proper forum for the evil thoughts I
am thinking while trying to respond to these questions) I will give it a shot.
The play that Bill Murray is writing in Tootsie is Tootsie. No, wait its
Caddyshack. Right, Caddyshack. No, that's still wrong. Ok, it's Larger Than
Life. That's right, a gripping tale of a man, a plan and an elephant.
"Seriously, Master Saturday Night is writing a gentle opus about life, love
and toxic waste entitled "Return to Love Canal." Not sure what Love Canal was/
is? Read a book... or listen to a Flipper album (the punk band, not the
dolphin).
"Now, on to Baby Fat... sorry... Baldy Fem... No sorry again... Bolo Tie...
whatever. My guess is that he must appear in the film, (after all, if he
didn't, you are asking a trick question and deserve a smack on the hinder) and
since the question was how many times he appears, not how many appearances he
makes, I will say one.
"That's right, one. He may have several hundred scenes of action and
suspense, love and valor, but he can only appear once. When the sun rises, do
you say, "The sun appeared several times today"? NO! You say, "The sun made
its appearance today." So he appeared once in the film, and then repeated said
appearance several times over the course of the film(s). How many times does
he reappear? I do not care. That was not the question. The correct response
is ONE!"
"The Engineer's Crazy!" by D.Billany@loc-dog.demon.co.uk
First off, it may be unknown to you, but Sci-Fi Channel Europe cuts quite a
bit of MST3K. I live in Britain and am a huge fan of the show, a lot of people
haven't even heard of the show over here, and I see it as my job as a fan to
point it out to those people (which has been pretty darn successful).
Unfortunately, it seems SFC Europe has something against it.
It all started, or at least it started for me, way back last year when the
show started. I started watching it from day 1, and loved every minute,
although I didn't really understand how such a show could have been so good
and not have been heard of over here till now. Then, something like four
months ago, SFC Europe decided to stop broadcasting to SKY Satellite viewers
(which I, thankfully, am not) except from the hours of 8-12 midnight. This
meant that SKY Satellite viewers could not get MST3K, as it is broadcast at
3:00 pm and 12:00 midnight. So, that was upsetting, but luckily I was a cable
viewer, and so those people I knew that had SKY could borrow episodes from me.
Then, SFC Europe thought that it would be nice to give MST3K back to SKY
viewers.
Nice of them?
Well, yeah, but unfortunately this meant they either had to give SKY back
the other 20 hours of Sci-Fi they were missing, or just broadcast MST3K at an
earlier time. They chose to broadcast it at an earlier time.
Nice of them?
No! This meant they had to cut a whole half-hour from the show! They cut
practically every host segment, plus about 15 minutes of riffing! Cable
viewers had to endure this as well, which was mean to me as well as those
people with SKY. So, we missed the famous Robert Denby jokes, we missed the
great 'Drive!' riffing from Agent For HARM, and we missed many of the great
host segments from many great episodes.
Well, there was a great load of complaining! Which is good, because not
only does it mean we got the missing half hour back, but it also means there's
a lot of people who care about how much MST3K we see over here in Britain!
(Special thanks to anyone who did complain!)
Unfortunately, this meant SKY viewers didn't get MST3K anymore, but if you
have a choice between a tiny amount of MST3K or just missing out on the show,
I'm afraid I think it's better to miss the show, an opinion supported by many
Brits I've met that like the show.
So, problem solved?
No! I recently found out that SFC Europe cuts the show, without us knowing
it! For your information, they still cut about five minutes of riffing, plus
tiny parts of host segments. Here's a select few:
So, can anyone offer a reasonable explanation for the acts of SFC Europe?
I'm open to suggestions, and any sympathy you have for me would be happily
accepted. I hope SFC Europe never takes over the whole of the Sci-Fi network,
even in America... Anyway, this is me, one of the only British MSTies in this
club, g'night!
"Tom Sawyer/Tom Servo" by mstanon@msties.com
Play "Tom Sawyer/Tom Servo" MIDI (Frames only)
Mean mean snide,
Today's Tom Servo
Mean mean jibe.
Though the puppet is not for rent,
Don't pick him up or make a dent.
His construct of great expense,
Riding out for Season 10.
The movies
And what you say about his silver beak
Is what you say about good ol' J.
Catch the MST, catch the pig
Catch the mystery, catch the wind.
The globe is, the globe is,
Clear and barrel deep,
Maybe as his arms are white.
Today's Tom Servo,
He makes riffs with you,
And the space he crusades
He's admired by you.
No, the puppet is not for rent
To any fan or Brain perfect.
Always funny, yet discontent,
He knows glue isn't permanent,
Liquid nail is.
And what you say about his silver beak
Is what you say about good ol' J.
Catch the MST, catch the pig
Catch the mystery, catch the wind.
The globe is, the globe is,
Clear and barrel deep,
Maybe as his arms are white.
Exit the hydrant,
Today's Tom Servo,
He makes riffs with you,
And the MST tapes you trade,
He gets right on to the collection of the day.
"Jenny For Your Thoughts" by S364128@urgrgcc.edu
Hey, I wrote a poem in honor of Joel coming back. I will write one for
Mike, and maybe the 'Bots. But here is my Joel poem, who most of you know was
a magician before MST3K.
Comes on stage sleepy-eyed
Out of coma perhaps
Familiar to dream land of whimsy
They trust his honest face
Then he pulls out props with puns
Laughter helps him hide his tricks
With slight hand and good jokes
They are distracted by the magic
Then he creates something new
Out of thin air
The father of these big laughs
With three assistants
Makes the pain go away
With stuff that is just lying around
Transformed into new inventions
All the while putting on a show
But during his act
Evil sorcerers try to steal his spotlight
Never giving into the black magic
He and his assistants cast spells to defend
His white handkerchief always overcomes
Smile crosses his rosy cheeks
Take a bow, you earned it
While the sorcerers concoct another curse
Fascinated fans dare not look away
For fear they might miss something
But like all magicians
He must disappear
In a flash of smoke he is gone
Leaving behind the magic
And one colored jumpsuit.
"MSTable Movies" by RMichel424@aol.com
This issue has only one review because I'm working on the special
Thanksgiving issue.
Firewalker (1986)
From IMDb: "Max Donigan (Chuck Norris) sets off on a treasure hunt with his
friend Leo and newly-acquired partner Patricia, who provided the treasure map.
Along the way they encounter a few bar fights, evil "coyotes", and other
obstacles they are able to overcome with ease. When the find the temple with
the treasure of gold, they also find the Firewalker, who wants to retain the
power of his ancestors and put an end to the trio's treasure hunt. In the end,
Max and his two friends persevere and return home wealthy."
This movie is full of holes! I noticed that the villain's eye patch, yes he
does have one, switches sides on occasion. Is he just wearing it for effect?
This movie seemed to me to be like a cross between an Indiana Jones movie and
the movie King Solomon's Mines (1986).
"Better 'Bots and Satellites" by bgibron@yahoo.com
Vol. 1 Issue 4
Crowlapalooza!: Reasons to be Cheerful, Part 2.
It's the same thing each and every day. You wake up with a dull, viscous
film covering the entire surface of your mouth. It feels like both Tor Johnson
and Coleman Francis washed their feet in your throat. Although you have
managed the usual 4 or 5 hours of restless, tousled sleep, the little pixie
with the jackhammer has already started his labors for the day, right behind
your optic nerve.
You stumble across the dimly lit bedroom and wonder why humans are legally
allowed to rise this early. You move to the never-clean bathroom and attempt
several scrapings, the plaque from tooth, the stubble from skin, the stink
from body. Then it hits you like a handful of gravel. While you attempted to
groom the planet slipped into a mini black hole that resulted in a forward
shift in time of a mere moment, and you are now late for work/school/
drinking/death.
You crash-sprain-bang down the hall and out into the bright and mocking
sun/cold and stingy rain. The car won't start, the bus is late, you are out of
mixers, whatever, the day begins its lazy drone, testing Einstein's relativity
theories and your patience. Seconds become eons, minutes become epochs and
hours become universes unto themselves. Like a rusted mechanism you push
papers/orders/French fries/vomit from one part of the room to the other, and
when the final whistle blows, you feel spent, wasted, drained and hollow.
The homecoming is as joyless as the home leaving, with the added bonus of
bills, debt notices and subpoenas to crush your dead heart. The house is as
dark and empty as your soul, and upon entry you discover the most recent
steaming present from your pet/notice of eviction from your landlord/
restraining order from your girlfriend-wife-significant other. You eat cold,
hard food, sans the mold scraped from the top, which has been acting as a
protective layer. The body revolts, and then surrenders and you collapse into
a broken down chair ready to begin the hellish process all over again. It
burrows into your mind like a Backstreet Boys song; in a scant few hours,
which now seem to be sling-shooting around the sun like the Starship
Enterprise in Star Trek IV, another time warp is being created, moving you
closer to the grave/loony bin/jail cell/fifth of vodka.
Well, CHEER UP! Rejoice! Pull up to the bumper and sample a little TLC from
the S.O.L. When you're alone and life is making you lonely you can always
go... Servo. Turn that frown upside down and remove the barrel from your
temple. MST is here to make it all better. Sure, it is easy (and quite the
norm) to wallow in drifts of self pity and wade around in pools of loathing
and disgust. Better 'Bots and Satellites has the cure for the real world woes.
Take two episodes of MST and life suddenly becomes a perfect pop song, an ice
cream sundae (with nuts and whip cream... no cheery, yeech!), a found dollar
bill, or a canceled visit to the petting zoo.
There are so many good things about Science-Feld to make the soul rise and
the spirit get right. Like Joel Hodgson, sleepy eyed and mono-timbered,
creating wonderful bon mots of humor and insight with just the power of his
mind. Who will ever forget his explanations of the '60's and the Rat Pack, his
ruminations on the demise of dangerous toys, or his list of pseudo super
heroes, the Fantastic 85? With just a nod of his head, or the crease of his
brow, he could make one laugh, giggle, guffaw or cachinnate. Jocularity, thy
name is Joel.
And his song styling provides the missing link between Sinatra and Bolton.
His subtle phrasing in "Clown in the Sky", the Guthrie-istic drawl of "What a
Pleasant Journey", the homeboy rappers delight of the "Godzilla Genealogy Bop"
proved him the consummate entertainer and tunesmith. It's a shame that we last
saw him disappearing into the Australian outback, to dizereedoo it up with the
Aborigines. Until his return, we can only remember. Or rewind and re-watch.
GET HAPPY! No gloomy day could stay dark forever when Crow T. Robot
saunters into the room, glowing golden and majestic like our own personal sun.
A fully realized automaton, Crow is the wicked little id we all want, with the
wit of Andy Kaufman and humor of Ernie Kovacs thrown in for good measure. Like
a class clown from the 23rd Century, Crow exemplifies the smart-ass, the
little stinker, and the devilish guttersnipe. Want the true personification of
the feeling you get whenever Gary Muledeer resurrects himself to perform his
own special brand of stand-up drudgery? Go wit da Crow!
Yet, this screaming yellow zonker is sophisticated and wise beyond his
years, with a true literary gift and a keen cinematic eye. His screenwriting
is the stuff of legend, with such pantheons as "Earth vs. Soup" and "Chocolate
Jones in the Temple of Funk" certain to take their place along side the master
works of Scorcese, Hitchcock and Olen Ray. His loves and lusts are many; Kim
Cattrall, Estelle Winwood...well that's really about it. He has been cooled to
absolute zero and roasted in the fiery inferno of a pyre of children's
clothes. He has even gone to vocal school to modulate his original, Midwestern
toot into a more modulated and northeastern bleat.
Indeed, Crow has provided the saddened face with more smiles than an
advanced case of lockjaw. The insights into the first Thanksgiving from the
KTMA days ("...and they took turns starvin'"), the Christmas standard "Let's
Have a Patrick Swayze Christmas", which still resonates in the mind like a
fever dream. His documentary Crow T. Robot Presents The Civil War, a moving
and stunning work that out Burns Burns (Monty, not Ken); Or the touching and
haunting Bobbin' Buzzard Theme Song. Crow T. Robot; a veritable outer space
Punch.
For every Punch there must be a Judy, or at least a snack tray. Tom Servo
is that nutted cheese log. Rarely does one find so much function within such a
limited chassis. Tom Servo, jack of all trades (as long as they do not require
feet or hands), master of his own destiny. After a year long battle with
adenoids, or asteroids, or hemorrhoids, (it was never made truly clear), from
out his mouth came a voice so smooth, so mellow, so boffundo that it made Tony
Bennett go punk, Harry Connick Jr. act and Luciano Pavarotti lip-synch.
Tom is a vocal maestro, using his pristine tone and resonating timber to
make even the most lamentable lament or bland ballad stand up and cry "Bali
Hi". No one will ever forget "Tibby, Oh Tibby", "Creepy Girl" or the United
Servo Men's Chorus singing the "United Servo Men's Chorus Theme" And it is all
because of the sonorous and onerous larynx of the TSester himself.
But do not accuse Tom of being one-dimensional. Multi-faceted and multi-
dioded is he. Especially adept at impressions, who could forget his Granny
Clampett ("JEEEEEEEEEEEEED"), his Granny Clampett ("JEEEEEEEEEEEEED"), or his
Granny Clampett ("JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED")? Or how about his Ed Herlihy for
Klack Foods ("Skin Mittens Anyone?") or his famous Snow Thrills voice over,
(she sells ski (pronounced "shee") shoes by the ski shop, the skithead).
Catching Ross? You're catching Servo in his prime.
Still, one returns to the famous Servo chops, pipes that can bring a tear
to the eye of even the most fierce criminal or insane CPA. Sure, he has a
weird underwear fetish. Sure, his arms are inarticulate and he has to be
carried around like a sack of flour. Sure, he can be a little snooty, arrogant
or even offensive. Above all else, though, Tom Servo is a man for all seasons
(even though he is not a man but an android and in space, there are no true
seasons, only one's artificially created outside of the sub-zero vacuum
surrounding the ship but then, it would be a true mouthful trying to call Tom
Servo that, now wouldn't it).
Then there's Mike (or Maude, I'm not sure). Like the awkward pimply kid in
school who never received anything but ridicule and a pink belly, Mike wanders
the S.O.L. in his own universe of questioning inadequacy and limited self-
esteem. You say life's got ya down? Feeling bad? Check out Mike's life. He has
gone from loser in a Wisconsin cheese factory to an experiment at the hands of
an evil mad scientist/mother of an evil mad scientist. He is forced to absorb
the slings and arrows and snicker snacks of his, so-called, metallic pals, who
reject him and still run to his side in crisis, even if they find his odors
offensive and his body obtuse.
Mike is the butt of many jokes, and an extensively used cautionary example.
See someone kiss a girl? Ridicule Mike. See a girl reject a guy? Pick on Mike.
See an oozy creature with flesh dripping off its face and the foul stench of
Hell reeking from its bones? Relate it to Mike. Sure, he tries hard. He just
wants to be loved, but Mike is forced to conform to and within a society not
of his making, kind of like Michael Jackson.
Still, Mike soldiers on ahead and tries to prove himself over and over
again. He attempts to warble songs to his favorite actresses (Kathy Ireland),
his favorite jobs (Janitor) and his lost loves ("Where Oh Werewolf"). His
skits, while hilarious, seem off-kilter and out of sync, like he is phoning
them in from under a pile of dung at the bottom of Lake Superior. His plans
are always half-baked, limp and burnt-toasted. Trying to escape the Satellite,
he transmogrifies into every man and no man, finding failure and misfortune
around every docking port or load pan. Mike is the reason that MST brightens
your day. Through him, you can project the pain and misery of your own
pathetic existence. Through him, you can find solace and repose. Through him,
you can feel smart and powerful. Through him, you believe you can fly (or is
that through R. Kelly?).
So take heart, you picked upon member of the human race. Find hope, you rat
race runner-up. Chill out, you disgusting worm. MST will act like a medicinal
salve with a refreshing scent and half the calories. Apply liberally and watch
the worries melt away into a puddle of iniquity. Cast off your wickedness and
be washed clean by Joel, Mike, Crow and Servo. Come down, Holy Quartet.
Cleanse thee with hessup. Wash thee with humor. Bathe thee with song. Life can
be good. Life is good. Life will be good. MST is the reason, and the light.
All praise MST!
November MSTie of the Month: weird_1@usa.net
My history with my favorite show goes back to the midnight showings on
Comedy Central. I was out of work so I took a job as a temp at one of those
temp agencies made famous by our now favorite temp, Mike.
I had just had one heck of a bad night at work during the second shift, the
line was out of order, and being a temp I was sent home early. The roads were
icy and I was lucky to get home in one piece.
I came in the door and only half-paid attention to what the TV was tuned
to, I was more interested in finding a cold beer and a hot shower. I was
paying more attention to my bowl of chili when I heard what sounded like a car
race being called on my TV. Now, I don't watch all that much sports, so I
wanted to see just what the heck was on, ESPN?
And there it was... my first MST, Sidehackers. It was the part where Joel
is making up names for all the crazy sidehacking moves in the movie. I was
transfixed. I forgot about my supper, my beer, and my shower. I was lost in
the show.
Seldom in my life has a TV show moved me to the point where I forget my
beer, heck I live in Wisconsin and here beer sells better than even that milk
beverage I've heard about. So, for me to forget my beer was a big deal.
The show ended and I found the name of the show I was watching and started
to find out all I could about it. I taped every episode (silly me, I re-taped
over them) to watch when I got home from the temp job. I was in way over my
head.
Since then I have book-marked a ton of MST web sites, spent endless hours
making captions at Caption This, joined the Green Bay Chapter of "The Mystery
Science Fan Club", made deals to acquire episodes from my good Internet
friends, and have joined this little forum. All in all my life have been
consumed with the show.
Once I thought I was a freak, a fool who was alone in my love of the show.
It is nice to know that I am not alone.
I am proud to be a MiSTie (or however it is spelled this week) and am proud
to call you fine folks my friends. Strange that my best friends are faceless
fans of the same show that I love. God bless MST3K, long may she live.
MST3K Trivia Winners
Another three months, another Jeopardy!-esque MST3K Trivia champion. This
time around the bloodfest, the victor is...
Here's her doozy of an acceptance speech.
Dear MSTies Anonymous Poobah and fellow members,
This game was a great idea...
Crow: Of course she thinks so... she won!
...and a heckuva lot of fun. I want to thank everyone who put it together. You
did a fabulous job! It's too bad there aren't prizes for everyone who
contributed those tough questions, as well as consolation prizes for the
players.
Mike: Yeah? Well, wish in one hand and crap in the other and see which one
piles up first.
It was quite a competition!
Servo: No one knows that better than the losers.
Mike: Hey, genius, ever heard of active verbs?
Thanks to your game, I am now the second in my family to win something MSTie.
Crow: Hey, no fair!
My son Dylan won the Kenny Cup (under-16 category) at Electric Bugaloo's
costume ball.
Crow: He didn't deserve it either!
Servo: Crow! That kid was adorable!
Crow: You only voted for him cuz he was dressed up as you.
Servo: Nuh-uh, he was just darling!
Crow: You're so biased!
Mike: Just dowling. Haha, get it?
Crow: Oh, brother.
Servo: Yeah, let's not go there, Mike.
Mike: Wait a minute. This is that kid's mother? The pushy woman who
interrupted our dinner?
Servo: Well we did promise to autograph the kid's poster.
Crow: Now I wish I'd written something nasty on it.
Just as winning the Kenny Cup totally made Dylan's childhood, winning this
game has really given my adulthood...
Crow: That little nudge over the edge...
...quite a boost! This would not have been possible without...
Mike: Half a brain?
...the plethora of incredible fan-made websites. I'm especially indebted to
Sloe Gin Circus and the Satellite News, which I save every day. I am also very
grateful to...
Crow: My Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.
...my son for his expertise, which helped me guess the answer to a question
that was worth a lot of points.
Servo: Actually she guessed the question to the answer.
Mike: Yeah, right, cuz it's Jeopardy.
Crow: Jeopardy-esque! Lawsuit, Mike!
Mike: OK! Jeez!
Thanks most of all to Joel Hodgson, without whom none of us would be as happy.
Mike: What about us?
Servo & Crow: Yeah!
Hey, you guys are my heroes! I love you all!
Servo: Is... is she... talking... to us?
You betcha! You guys are my idols!
Mike: Ah, not again!
Crow: Is she allowed to do that, Mike?
Mike: It was bad enough the last time she talked to us!
Crow: Yep. She just reopened a big ol' can of jellied whoop-ass.
Servo: I'm beginning to think you guys are right. Maybe we should go ahead
with the restraining order this time.
Ah, c'mon fellas, I love all the Brains. And didja know that me an' Pearl have
the same personality? Clayton could've been my zygote!
Servo: She's getting more delusional every second.
Crow: Let's get outa here!
You got a problem with my mental illness?
Servo: Mike, I'm scared!
Mike: It's OK, Tom, don't cry. Yes, Mrs. F? As you wish, Mrs. F! C'mon guys,
Mrs. F says it's time for the Invention Exchange.
Hey, you guys don't do those anymore!
Mike: Uh, yes we do, uh, we just started again, today.
Crow: Well, uh, congratulations! Uh, I'm sure you'll enjoy... whatever it is
you won.
Servo: Please don't hurt us!
I'M THE GOD!!! I'M THE GODDDD!!! Haha! Eat my photons, smallheads!
Crow: Don't we have an invention that can blow up her head?
Servo: I think Frank kiped it.
Mike: We could sic Bobo on her.
Servo: Hmm, no, as much as I'd like to see Bobo tangle with her, I still
wouldn't wish that on him. She could actually mess up his head!
Crow: Yeah, it wouldn't take much, he's already teetering at the edge of the
chasm...
Bobo: You're talking about me, aren't you! What are you saying?!
Mike: Shhh! Crow!
Bobo: I'm telling Lawgiver!
Servo: Oh, great! Now Bobo's out to get us, too!
I'M THE GODDESS OF JEOPARDY(-esque)!!!
Brains: AAAAAHHHH!
YOU BRAINLESS MONKEYS!
I WILL MAKE YOU BOW DOWN BEFORE ME. ONE DAY YOU WILL ALL BE BEFORE ME
PROSTRATE, QUAKING, NAKED AND AFRAID, AND I WILL SHOW YOU THE MEANING OF LOSS!
Wait, I already did that.
Thank you all! I couldn't have done it without all of you! Thank you! Thank
you all so much!
And since I'm thanking everyone in the whole world, I'd like to thank a guy I
know named Earl... Thank you.
Sincerely,
Corryne Drake
P.S. THANKS POOBAH!!!
Servo: Mike... is it safe?
Crow: Sigh, I miss safety.
Mike: There, there. Sad little men.
Servo: Oh, Daddy!
December MST3K Schedule on SFC
North America
{All times are Eastern and tentative}
| Date | Time | ### | Episode |
|---|---|---|---|
| 12/05/98 | 5:00 pm | 819 | Invasion of the Neptune Men |
| 12/05/98 | 11:00 pm | 819 | Invasion of the Neptune Men |
| 12/12/98 | 5:00 pm | 905 | Deadly Bees |
| 12/12/98 | 11:00 pm | 905 | Deadly Bees |
| 12/19/98 | 5:00 pm | 813 | Jack Frost |
| 12/19/98 | 11:00 pm | 813 | Jack Frost |
| 12/26/98 | 5:00 pm | 907 | Hobgoblins |
| 12/26/98 | 11:00 pm | 907 | Hobgoblins |
Europe and Africa
{All times are U.K. and tentative}
| Date | Time | ### | Episode |
|---|---|---|---|
| 05/12/98 | 14.00 | TBA | |
| 06/12/98 | 24.00 | TBA | |
| 12/12/98 | 14.00 | TBA | |
| 13/12/98 | 24.00 | TBA | |
| 19/12/98 | 14.00 | TBA | |
| 20/12/98 | 24.00 | TBA | |
| 26/12/98 | 14.00 | TBA | |
| 27/12/98 | 24.00 | TBA | |
Classifieds 3000
Hquiej@aol.com writes: "There have been online radio telecasts. There have
been online marriages. There have been online conventions. And now, I,
MSTManos, present to you the first online awards ceremony! The Unofficial
Turkey Day Chat on November 26th, 1998 will be held to present six Golden
Gypsies awards, three of which the people voted for. It will be held on the
irc.scifi.com server from 2-4 PM EST/11 AM-1 PM PST/7-9 PM GMT. The chat will
open 30 minutes before the scheduled start. Also, we will be presenting the
FAN OF THE YEAR award, which is a prestigious award won each year to only one
online MSTie. Is it you? Come see and find out for yourself! Note: For the
latest info on this chat, please visit RATMM and check out for Turkey Day Chat
posts. It'll be live, dawg! Live!"
mstanon@msties.com writes: "Because I recently exchanged my Floralier with
the Brains for a signed Season 8 cast poster, I now have an extra poster that
I don't need. So if you'd like to buy a brand-new, unsigned Season 8 cast
poster, please e-mail me for further details. Thanks!"
hamdingr@theworks.com writes: "When John Glenn returns from space, everybody
dress in ape suits. We have 2 days in which to bury the Statue of Liberty up
to her head!"
Disclaimers
All material written by club members in this publication does not necessarily
reflect the views or opinions of the staff of MSTies Anonymous. Endorsement of
above publicized activities not operated by MSTies Anonymous should not be
implied. Published material is subject to editing only for spelling, grammar,
clarity, and formatting; other changes are not made without express written
consent of the author.
Mystery Science Theater 3000, its characters and situations are copyright 1998
Best Brains, Inc. This publication is not meant to infringe on any copyrights
held by Best Brains, the Sci-Fi Channel, or their employees.
"Gizmonics" and all related elements are copyright and trademark Joel Hodgson.
This publication is not meant to infringe on any copyrights held by him, so
please do not sue us.
© MCMXCVIII MSTies Anonymous
The Poobah mstanon@msties.com
Jet Jaguar kret0419@blue.UnivNorthCo.edu
Zen Psycho zenpsycho@yahoo.com
"Be healed!"