| SOL Post 60 | 01/15/02 |
| SOL Post 59 | 11/22/01 |
| SOL Post 58 | 07/15/01 |
S.O.L. POST
==========================================================================
Volume 59
http://www.msties.com/
Turkey Day 2001
Formerly The MSTies Anonymous Newsletter: News for the Obscure Convergence
==========================================================================
MST3K TO END RUN ON CABLE
In This Issue
From the Poobah
"Better 'Bots and Satellites" by bill@msties.com
"Jenny For Your Thoughts" by jenny@msties.com
"Missing KTMA Episode Information" by tomservorobot@yahoo.com
"MST3K and You" by mstanon@msties.com
MST3K Schedules
Classifieds 3000
How You Can Contribute!
Disclaimers
I hope everyone's having a happy Turkey Day today. On this, the day we
MSTies celebrate the anniversary of the show's inception on Minneapolis UHF
station KTMA TV23, it's a tradition to watch a marathon of MST3K episodes. If
you haven't popped in a tape or twelve yet, there's still time to do so! So
far, I've watched the following episodes as a part of my marathon:
0310 Fugitive Alien
Next up, I'll probably watch episode 1013 Diabolik and The Last Dance, RAW.
It seems fitting seeing as this is the last Turkey Day we'll have while the
show is still being broadcast. Be sure to check out what may be the last Sci-
Fi Channel schedule below.
Let's set the scene: eerie music, like the wailing of a sorrowful banshee
begins to seep from the television speaker, as a black and white image of a
decrepit Tudor mansion looms before you. Wind whistles in dying tree branches
as the image flickers, like a long distance videophone call from another time,
another realm. As the light fades and begins to trick the eye into seeing
shadows in the deep darkness of the blackened manor windows, a tiny death
rattle of a voice sighs its tale of woe and foreboding:
"My name is Victoria Winters. There is a cold here within the walls of
Collinwood, a cold that chills the very marrow in the bones and feces in the
bowel. I know that something evil dwells within these ancient rooms and morbid
halls, and I am not speaking about Joan Bennett's acting. Even as I speak
aloud to you for no apparent reason about things I could not have any direct
or even remote knowledge about, I know that Matthew Morgan, Sheriff Lobo and
Rhett Beavers are all headed down to the Piggly Wiggly to see if Chubb Frick
got Wanda Bodine's Achy Breaky commemorative T-shirt unstuck from the Eight
O'clock Coffee Grinder in time for her try-out at the Miss Junior Clown Prison
Rodeo."
Bob Dylan, famous for a voice only a pathetic mute could clamor for, and a
songwriting talent only surpassed by his capacity to be influential, once
wrote that the times, they are a changing. Well, in the televisional landscape
of the 1960's the times were definitely a changing, and along with the times,
morals, values, concepts of liberty and freedom and the notion of what would
make intriguing entertainment all went through a particularly harsh peyote
button. The Western, once the Cattle King of Old Kentucky was handed its
overripe chaps and told to hit the stills, as cowboys and injuns made way for
farmers and pigs, which in turn, gave birth to country bumpkins and Dash Rip
Rock, which resulted in Uncle Joe and an entire cast of Oui wanna be's
strutting and fretting their miserable half hour upon the world's stage, only
to fret even more and strut like a cheetah when the aforementioned Joseph got
a little "gassy". It was an era in extracurricular enjoyment when white trash
ruled the boob tube, taking the nickname far too literally, in both its
mentality and its halter topped bodaciousness. Green Acres, Petticoat
Junction, and The Courtship of Eddie's Father all taught us that, in the
racially charged and ethically open-minded maelstrom of 1960 - 1969, being
pasty, white and confederate was perfectly acceptable, at times even
hilarious.
From the Poobah
Hey guys, sorry for not sending out the past couple editions of the SOL
Post. This unplanned sabbatical was brought about by both the fall semester
and my writing about the GameCube and games I imported from Japan over at
Nintendojo.com. The best way you can keep me motivated here at MSTies
Anonymous is by sending in your MST-related articles as described in the 'How
You Can Contribute' portion of this newsletter.
0816 Prince of Space
1001 Soultaker
0515 Wild Wild World of Batwoman
0903 Pumaman
"Better 'Bots and Satellites" by bill@msties.com
Vol. 3, Issue 9
Calling All Collins! From a Whisper to a Screaming Skull
But just as it seemed that Paul Henning would get his way and find time to
produce yet another show about brain damaged hay seeds whittling their spittle
into fancy ball gowns to wear at Presidential inaugurations, along came people
like Gene Roddenberry, and Norman Lear, men who felt that the whole hoedown
had hemorrhaged and that yarns about yahoos had yucked their last he-yuck.
With shows like All in the Family and Star Trek, the boundaries of television
were pushed beyond the outhouse and back towards indoor plumbing, where they
belonged. But no one was more daring than Dan Curtis, a man who decided that
what this backwater and one horse TV landscape needed was a good dose of New
England gothic intrigue. Hatching away in his hyperactive brain was a
television show unlike anything imaged on the air at the time, a show that
celebrated the macabre and the gloomy, a moody tale of scarred people lived in
an ominous town, bulging to the barnacles with skeletons (and vampires) in the
closet. The drama would revolve around the Collins family, and their stately,
if somewhat rotting manor Collinwood, a home in whose many mysterious quarters
held haunts from years past. There were ghosts in the "dark shadows" of these
halls. And any other manner of the gruesome, ghoulish and groovy. Hence the
name: The Groovy Ghoulies Show. We mean Dark Shadows. Sorry.
Curtis had a grand design for the show, a tale told from parallel times and
worlds, of an epic battle between Heaven and Hell, the seen and the unknown.
What he envisioned was a cross between the House of the Seven Gables and
Macbeth, as processed through the mindset of Bram Stoker, with just a little
H.P. Lovecraft on the side. What he got, instead, was a drippy amalgam of Lost
in Space and The Sailor Who Fell From Grace with the Sea as envisioned by the
Sea Captain from The Simpsons. Perhaps it was the casting of little David
Henesy as David Collins, youngest of the Collins family and the one most
unlikely to succeed with girls. Whining and whimpering like a diseased fawn in
a bear trap, David, you see, has a pedophile's dream of a dilemma; he must
give his love and loathing to someone, but he can't decide between his ultra
light in the loafers father Roger Collins (played by as Louis Edmonds as a
cross between Wayland Flowers and Madam) or square jawed and swishy hipped
Burke Devlin, the town scandal. Once ridden out on a rail for a manslaughter
he didn't commit (no one said ANYTHING about the manhandling he may have
done), devilish Burke has now returned to the scene of his spiritual de-
pantsing to buy up any and all Collins interests for a box of Gordon's Breaded
Fish Fillets and a bottle of Old Spice. Burky plays everything, including his
warped lust for David, very coy and close to the vest. Or maybe that's where
he wishes Davy would cradle his lovely blond lock. Even as it tried to build
up a real sense of dread and fear, any suspense or sinister urge was wiped out
in a swath of camp, kitsch and heavily homoerotic male bonding as David's
flaming queen of a pappy traipses around the town like Divine in a pair of
cha-cha heels and a new eyebrow look.
Not that the women of Dark Shadows fair any better. As the staunch and
starchy Elizabeth Collins Stoddard, Joan Bennett makes answering and dialing
the telephone a Lee Strasburg experience in non-acting. This is a talent for
whom the prop handset is a mandatory dramatic aide, less she has to resort to
trace or sense memory. Sans rotary dialer, she is like clay moving through
lead as aided by ennui and a deep sense of the staid. Want even more non-
emotion? Look no further than Alexandra Moltke, playing the afore-ridiculed
Victoria Winters with all the conviction and feeling of a yardstick, which her
figure mimics quiet well. Whether she was being kidnapped by burly smelly
gardeners, responding to the juvenilia torments of the boy annoy David, or
cutting her forehead on Burke's meaner than Bruce Campbell chin during a
dispassionate make-out session, the future Von Bulow witness for the Defense
gave new meaning to the word inanimate. About the only actress worth her salt
in seasoning was Clarice Blackburn, who played plucky and plaintive
housekeeper Sarah Johnson. Watching her deliver lines with passion, wit and
characterization makes the prank call paralysis of Ms. Suspiria and static
stasis of Klaus' slightly less comatose seem all the more torpid. It no
surprise that after a few months, Devil Dan decided to deconstruct and
redesign his foray into the realm of the Occult.
Enter Jonathan Frid, a man more glower than power, his intense gaze
smoldering with hidden heinousness and the toothy desire to gnaw on some
virginal necks. And this is before he was cast as Barnabas Collins, long lost
relative and resident New Hampshire Nosferatu, and added to the otherwise
fetid bowl of cliché chowder. Barnabas was an immediate hit, adding the right
amount of tragic ludicrousness to the whole outlandish shebang. Clutching his
hawk headed cane like it contained a fifth of Wild Turkey, and scowling at
everyone within a time portal, Freaky Friddy turned the glum and bummer
gymnastics of the rest of the family Collins into an inert and meaningless
freak fest. Soon, the whole show revolved around Big B and his fashion fangs
as he nibbled and slurped his way from season to season. Seeing the success of
one Universal monster archetype, a very curt Dan decided to pile on Pete, and
add Frankensteins and Vulpine as a means of nuzzling up to the members of the
Nielsen clan. Funny thing, though: after the initial public acceptance and
critical splash of having horrible mutant creatures, carnage and mayhem on
their simple minded craniums, running amuck in the Vermont or Connecticut
countryside, the American people grew tired of their immorality antics and
before you could say "Arnold Ziffel is a swine", the Collins were part of
yesterday's society column. It's a lesson the Kennedys still haven't taken to
their cold, black hearts.
Still, the mementos left behind by this ghoulish gothic gabfest are far
reaching. Shows like The X Files, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Trading Spaces
all owe their bleak tone and otherworldly piffle to the meanderings of the
ever calling Liz, ever mincing Roger, ever molesting Burke, ever whining David
and ever necking Barnabas. Even a movie like 912 Screaming Skull can find many
counterparts and analogous similarities to Big Black Silhouettes. (SO what if
the movie came out 8 years before Dark Shadows began, they are the same,
dammit, and we here at BB&S do not have to defend our choice. Call it dramatic
license. Call it inspired spoofery. Just breathe and relax, damn you!) Better
'Bots and Satellites offers this guide to both works, in hopes that, after
grasping the innate connections between these twin tales of terror, we will
blow your funky little minds:
| DARK SHADOWS | THE SCREAMING SKULL |
|---|---|
| Feature a woman of questionable acting skill, limited attractiveness and hideous fashion and social sense being brought to an old, rickety mansion to tutor a small boy | Features a woman of questionable acting skill, limited attractiveness and hideous fashion and social sense being brought to an old, rickety mansion to slowly go insane |
| Features a man of questionable sexual orientation who swear he loves women, when all the time he acts more like he loves small boys and disco | Features a man of questionable sexual orientation who swears he loves his wife, probably because she resembles a small boy at a disco |
| Features a grubby handyman who wanders the property in a state of dubious hygiene pining for his lost love | Features a grubby handyman who wanders the property in a state of dubious hygiene pining for his lost peat moss |
| David Collins is convinced there is a ghost in Collinwood, and runs around like a psycho brat singing songs to "Mr. Juggins" | Jenni Whitlock is convinced there is a ghost in her house in the woods, and runs around like a Tyco truck shrieking about her lack of "juggins" |
| Roger Collins is an effeminate man who has a horrible secret in his past | Eric Whitlock is an ineffective man who has a horrible stain on his suit |
| Features a screaming skull (as part of The Dream Curse) | Features a screaming skull (as a means of justifying the title) |
| Features the disembodied head of Jonas Zachary | Features the disembodied head of some guy from Central Casting |
| Ghost occasionally walk out of paintings making life a living hell for the inhabitants of Collinwood | Ghosts occasionally walk across the lawn decreasing property values and infuriating the inhabitants of their deed restricted community |
| There is a creepy, pedophiliac undercurrent to the story lines | There is a creepy, orthopedic undercurrent to the story lines |
| When the show was in jeopardy introduced a new character, creating a new type of anti-hero | When the plot was in jeopardy introduced a new characterization to someone everyone thought was retarded |
| This new character saves the show | This new characterization saves nothing |
| Has nothing whatsoever to do with Michael, Phil, or Tom Collins | Has nothing whatsoever to do with Dionne Warwick |
| Barnabas Collins likes to suck blood | The Screaming Skull just sucks |
Sure, The Screaming Skull, at its heart, is a tired old mystery story where the husband is trying to gaslight the wife, like he did his previous matrimonial source of inherited wealth, so that she will go nuts and throw herself into the cement pond out back. All he really cares about is the filthy lucre he can gain. Kind of like The Beverly Hillbillies, without all of Granny's cursing. Dark Shadows was and continues (in reruns and fansites) to be a source of questionable, if not heartfelt fascination for fans and fanatics alike. Maybe we scoff at Mickey's last minute transformation from dimwit to detective, from idiot to insight as a means of saving the convoluted storyline from sinking like the skulls in the lily pond, it still makes more sense than the whole 1750/1890/1966 Time After Time wife and warlock swapping that goes on in an average season of the latter Shadows. Sure, it may seem like a bad idea to base an entire movie around the slender premise that a woman, no matter who recently released from the booby hatch she is, would find a plastic cranium absolutely horrifying, so much so that she would take her own life. But this is nothing compared to the underage namblings of young Davey Collins, as he thrusts his head into the groin of Burke Devlin, and coos his name like a rent boy, all the while toadying about what good "friends" they are. Yes, both vaulted vehicles for highbrow horror crap out at the end: Barnabas spends more time being a babe drawing badass than drinking claret and doing the Bat-tusi and the scheming and evil Eric tumbles haplessly into the seemingly bottomless pit of a wading pool like this is the first time, ever, that he has stumbled across it on his property before. But at least, in the case of both Shadows and Skull, there were no gapped toothed yokels relaxing on carved log chairs, festooned in dirty, frayed overalls, sipping moonshine and preparing their hounds for a possum hunt. They decided to leave all that malevolent wickedness to The Andy Griffith Show.
0201 Rocketship X-M
So tell me what you'd like to trade and I'll do my best.
000 (pilot)- Light blue/green jumpsuit, blue/green shirt, long hair
001 - Light blue/green jumpsuit, white shirt, long hair
002 - Beige jumpsuit, blue/green shirt, long hair
003 - Beige jumpsuit, white shirt, long hair
004 - Beige jumpsuit, white shirt, short hair
Therefore, the opening for the pilot was simply a black screen saying
MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATRE 3000 and another saying WITH JOEL HODGSON. This may
also have been used for 001 through 003, but it's not likely, since Joel had
discussed writing the theme in an interview on talkspot.com (April, 1999). The
credits fade to Crow, Joel and Beeper, who explain the premise. The background
appears blue/gray, which is the natural color it was painted, but it appears
red/orange in all the other KTMAs, which is due to entirely different
lighting. A primitive door sequence of various real-life objects such as a
locker, office door, and circuit breaker bring us through the satellite to the
theater. Joel enters and is alone in the theater where his silhouette is seen
over "The Green Slime" title and one riff is heard ("That's not an asteroid,
it's a battle station!") on the sales tape. Also, there is a short clip on the
sales tape of Joel, Crow, Beeper and Gypsum (who falls backwards), which must
be from another host segment since Joel's appearance matches the description.
Yet another host segment from a tape shown at the 1994 Conventio-Con, which
follows with Joel making a joke about the secrets of the universe being on
8-track.
The KTMA sales tape references "Thunderbirds to the Rescue", which was a
Jerry and Sylvia Anderson movie (who made the movies that were shown in
episodes 001, 002, and 010), but there are no actual shots from episode 001
or 002.
001 Invaders from the Deep includes Joel and Crow in the theater. This is
the movie being watched in the KTMA opening. The host segments deal with Joel
and things called vacuflowers (seen in 015), which are little flowers that
grow on the ship and makes whoever smells them obsessed (also explained by
Joel in the talkspot.com interview). Another segment has Joel and Gypsum with
foam on her nose (also notice in that scene there is foam and vacuflowers on
the desk and on Joel's hands). A third segment has Crow and Servo with
clothespins on their noses. The video trickery in 017 shows Joel saying the
guys at the station sent him a fax that the next film is "Invaders from the
Deep". This episode was aired 11-24-88 at 6 pm.
002 Revenge of the Mysterians was shown 11-24-88 at 8 pm. I don't know who
did the theater segments. The Thanksgiving sketch about the Macy's Parade was
from this episode as well as a short clip of Joel, Crow and Gypsum with gourds
in her mouth (seen in 015).
003 Star Force: Fugitive Alien II was shown 11-27-88 at 6 pm. During a
sketch where Crow explains Thanksgiving, both Crow and Joel call the other
robot Gypsum. I believe the short clip from the KTMA opening with Joel using
nun-clucks is from this episode. Tom, Joel and Crow all sit in the theater, as
seen in a clip of it in the commercial in the Pitch Tape to The Comedy Channel
that is also seen on the Scrapbook Tape.
Many changes were made for 004 Gamera vs. Barugon. The shots of Joel
cleaning, the Robot Roll Call and the Demon Dogs were probably filmed between
002 and 003 because of his tan jumpsuit and white shirt, but all evidence
points to the first three episodes were made in advance. The call-in phone
line was most likely added during this episode since in 004 a caller says,
"It's 11-27 and I was just watching the show." The Demon Dogs were never used
in the KTMA era except for the opening credits as explained in 020.
While searching for the videos to these, only these sources appear:
Ted Dean, in a post from "Deux ex Machina's tape trading post":
"In a post I put out a few days back I was trying to reach Sam, another 'Bot
builder. At one time I was trying to trade 'Bot parts for episodes. I
mentioned that I had part of 002 and 003, which not to many other people have.
Since that post I have had 90+ contacts about these 2 episodes. I have put
this post out to answer the same questions that keep coming up. The story I
got from the person who I got them from is this. When MST first aired on KTMA
a guy set his VCR to record some different shows while he was away on a
holiday vacation. He programmed the VCR wrong and it managed to record 002 and
003. He was unimpressed with them and through time he re-recorded over some
stuff with a home video camera. He sent the home movies to a brother in the
Navy and it still had these MST movies on it. They were a big hit aboard the
ship and he made several copies for his shipmates. Through time they made
copies for their friends etc. etc. A MSTie was one who got them and I got them
through him. The quality sucks. These are 10++ generation. I am trying very
hard to get better copies of these. I am running down the trail of people who
have them ‘til I get to the best source. When and if I get better copies, I
will offer them on my web site and through the exchange. I made copies for a
few people and the quality is so bad I have stopped. You may soon see others
offer 002 and 003 on this exchange. These are the people I made copies for and
I am telling you the quality will triple suck if you try to get yet another
copy from their tapes. I know that some want them no matter what they look
like so they can be part of the few. But I am telling you it is best wait if
you can hold it in. I will purchase a new video enhancer and try again with
these but I am telling you I would not keep my hopes up to high. For those of
you who have copies of 002 and 003, sorry about the quality, but I told you
so. Thanks."
The e-mail posted is invalid, and a phone search found the wrong Ted Deans.
Donald O'Conner, ex-manager of KTMA TV-23, might have a copy of the pilot
(it was sold to him).
Jim Mallon/Best Brains Inc.: The only people known to have tapes of the
missing episodes, but unfortunately will not release them.
Joel Hodgson, MST3K's founding father, seems to have more of an interest in
the KTMA days. If he has a copy, chances are, he might pass around a few to
his friends.
KTMA employees may have copies as well, and any uninformed fans may have
them, too.
If you have any information on the missing KTMA episodes, e-mail Tom
(trnoel@hotmail.com) or Jack (tomservorobot@yahoo.com).
Colorado State University - Fort Collins, CO
eagle1@execpc.com writes: "I have MST tapes to trade! Whoo! My tapes are all
recorded in SP, and they are complete (no missing host segments, etc.). They
are of fairly good quality (ranging from C to B grades) I do not trade tapes
which I deem to be below the C grade. Here is a list of what I have: 102 Robot
vs. the Aztec Mummy, 203 Jungle Goddess, 210 King Dinosaur, 307 Daddy-O, 312
Gamera vs. Guiron, 321 Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, 403 City Limits, 408
Hercules Unchained, 416 Firemaidens of Outer Space, 421 Monster a Go-Go, 503
Swamp Diamonds, 504 Secret Agent Super Dragon, 510 Painted Hills, 521 Santa
Claus, 601 Girls Town, 602 Invasion USA, 611 Last of the Wild Horses, 612
Starfighters, 615 Kitten With a Whip, 616 Racket Girls, 701 Night of the Blood
Beast, and 702 Brute Man. I really, really, REALLY want to increase my
collection! I have these tapes practically memorized at this point, and I need
fresh episodes! I hope to trade with you (I REALLY do)!"
jenny@msties.com writes: "Hey, we are selling t-shirts for the show thet I
help make. You don't have to buy, just check it out at
http://www.cafepress.com/gigaweapon. More shirts to come soon."
benzierandy@hotmail.com writes: "Hello I am the Sitemaster for Robert Z'Dar's
website. The link to his official site is www.zdar.com. I thought this might
be of interest to you."
Members of MSTies Anonymous are always invited to contribute MST-related
articles to this newsletter, plug their MST3K activities/sites/etc. in the
Classifieds 3000, or even start up a regular column of their own! Stuck for
ideas on what to write about? Try the following...
#(8)o Biography of a Brain
The SOL Post is published each month on the 15th, so all items to be
published are due on the 14th. Write early, and write often! Huzzah!
"Jenny For Your Thoughts" by jenny@msties.com
Hey, everyone. I've decided to bulk up my tape collection and tape trade.
Why now? Well, I had every tape or episode I wanted, but as was pointed out to
me at the last convention, the goal is to get all the episodes. Plus a friend
of mine wants to see some of the episodes that I don't have. I'll trade for
any episode not on my list or from Seasons 8-10. (I can get those.) So here's
the list of MST tapes I have, save for the ones available on Rhino.
0212 Godzilla vs. Megalon
0213 Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster
0302 Gamera
0304 Gamera vs. Barugon
0306 Time of the Apes
0308 Gamera vs. Gaos
0309 Amazing Colossal Man
0310 Fugitive Alien
0312 Gamera vs. Guiron
0316 Gamera vs. Zigra
0317 Viking Women and the Sea Serpent
0321 Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
0401 Space Travelers
0402 Giant Gila Monster
0408 Hercules Unchained
0410 Hercules Against the Moon Men
0411 Magic Sword
0418 Attack of the the Eye Creatures
0419 Rebel Set
0420 Human Duplicators
0422 Day the Earth Froze
0423 Bride of the Monster
0505 Magic Voyage of Sinbad
0508 Operation Double 007
0516 Alien from L.A.
0519 Outlaw
0521 Santa Claus
0523 Village of the Giants
0601 Girls Town
0603 Dead Talk Back
0604 Zombie Nightmare
0605 Colossus and the Headhunters
0606 Creeping Terror
0608 Code Name: Diamond Head
0610 Violent Years
0611 Last of the Wild Horses
0612 Starfighters
0613 Sinister Urge
0614 San Francisco International
0615 Kitten With a Whip
0617 Sword and the Dragon
0620 Danger! Death Ray
0621 Beast of Yucca Flats
0623 Amazing Transparent Man
0624 Samson vs. the Vampire Women
701T Night of the Blood Beast
0701 Night of the Blood Beast
0702 Brute Man
0703 Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell
0704 Incredible Melting Man
0705 Escape 2000
0706 Laserblast
0801 Revenge of the Creature
0802 Leech Woman
0803 Mole People
0805 Thing That Couldn't Die
0808 She Creature
0809 I Was a Teenage Werewolf
0811 Parts: the Clonus Horror
0813 Jack Frost
0814 Riding with Death
0815 Agent for H.A.R.M.
0822 Overdrawn at the Memory Bank
0904 Werewolf
0910 Final Sacrifice
1001 Soultaker
1002 Girl in Gold Boots
1003 Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders
1009 Hamlet
1011 Horrors of Spider Island
1013 Diabolik
"Missing KTMA Episode Information" by tomservorobot@yahoo.com
By tracing Joel's jumpsuit, t-shirt and hair length one can figure out
where all of the clips come from included on the scrapbook tape, 015 and 017.
The breakdown is as follows:
From: T. Dean ()
Date: 16-Oct-97 (8:7:56 GMT)
Subj: 002 & 003
"MST3K and You" by mstanon@msties.com
Mystery Science Theater 3000 is probably best explained by character Dr.
Clayton Forrester in the feature film based on the long running television
series: "What you are about to see is an experiment. And by observing, you
have become part of that experiment. For I have shot a man into space and have
been driving him crazy by forcing him watch the worst movies ever made." He
continues, "This is my test subject, Mike Nelson, a disgustingly mild-mannered
dope who's managed to survive every film I've subjected him to. But perhaps
this movie will drive him to the breaking point and crush his soul. And then,
I'll unleash it on an unwitting public and then, I will rule the world!" Here
is where the genius of the show lies: a human test subject along with puppets
Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot harangue the film being screened while making
hilariously cynical retorts to the awful turkey of a film. Most importantly,
MST3K instills in its viewers a sense of ability to strike back at an
oppressive society while reinforcing the age-old tradition of gathering around
the TV to make sarcastic remarks at the screen.
Fighting back against the irrefutable pull of bad entertainment is
something that even the refined media connoisseur struggles with. In a world
where corporate superpowers force-feed consumers nothing but manufactured
swill via their marketing through commercials and Total Request Live, it would
seem that mere mortal citizens must put up with the status quo. It's truly a
sad state of affairs when movies like Tomb Raider and pop artists like the
Backstreet Boys continually top charts not due to any alleged or implied
quality, but rather by the muscle of Madison Avenue alone inflicting the
mindless surrender of hard-earned dollars upon millions of Americans. Like Dr.
Forrester plotted, the media is unleashing massive amounts of cheese on an
unwitting public that may eventually drive us to the breaking point and crush
our souls, taking over the world in the process.
However, MST3K reminds and reiterates to us that it's okay to lash out
against oppressive forces in our lives - the sub-par entertainment from the
media or even the tedious work cruelly foisted upon us by our parents,
teachers, and bosses - and many of us subsequently do so. Rather than take
such punishment silently, MST3K inspires us to action with sharp tongues as
weapons. Chris Cornell and Brian Henry wrote in their history of the show,
"MST3K is a call to arms in a war most thinking people are waging every day:
the battle against the mediocrity that floods our lives. MST3K is an object
lesson, a demonstration that we don't have to - and shouldn't - passively
accept the garbage we are spoon-fed on a daily basis. Indeed, the series
places the 'bots and their human companion on the front lines of that battle.
It's in this way that MST3K rises above mere heckling and becomes a compelling
metaphor about fighting the good fight." So in our constant battles with
higher forces in our lives, comedy can become our shielding and sarcastic wit
our most powerful weapon when at war with that which would only bring us down.
Second, a philosophy of the series' creators was that the more people
watched the show together, the funnier it became. The writers believed in this
so much that they cut down on the regular number of 700 jokes per movie for
the feature film MST3K: The Movie so that none of the riffs would be lost in
the din of the crowd's laughter. The thought was this: if one person alone
watches the show, they'll have a few good chuckles. But laughter is infectious
and as more and more people watch MST3K together, the sometimes-esoteric
references presented in the commentary will appeal to more viewers' pop-
culture sensibilities and overlap, inducing more instances of laughter and at
a greater intensity. Simply put, the Satellite of Love crew's jokes get
funnier due to others finding the material to be humorous.
Members of one particular MST3K fan club, MSTies Anonymous of Colorado,
have found this to be absolutely true each week when an episode of the series
is watched as a group. MSTies Anonymous member Jean-Luc Romano said, "I used
to think that no-one should ever talk during a movie. Later, I realized: hey,
if we have more fun conversing during a movie, why be silent?" This hurling of
their own insults at the screen by the audience is the true give and take of
the series. The professionals, of course, offer an unrelenting barrage of
witty banter that keeps viewers' sides splitting throughout the duration,
encouraging them to watch other movies without the MST treatment and follow in
the footsteps of the SOL crew. One unnamed MSTies Anonymous member said of bad
movies, "I mock them more... now." Clearly, MST3K is reinforcing the
traditional Saturday afternoon matinee movie heckling.
As most if not all MSTies have shared such experiences, they should easily
be able to find that MST3K has empowered them to be able to fire off snide
remarks when faced with ridiculous situations - even if not verbally - and
make use of the skill when following in the 'bots footsteps and watching
cheesy movies. The tradition always results in an enjoyable experience for all
those involved. Indeed, as Karen Visoky of MSTies Anonymous found, "Bad is
good! I had no idea how good! Better than 'Dinner and a Movie' - better than
'Roger Ebert at the Movies.' I needed a laugh, and got enough to last a week."
Thanks, MST3K, for making us laugh about love... again.
MST3K Schedules
Sci-Fi Channel
{All times are Eastern and tentative}
11/24/01 - 9:00 am - 0912 Screaming Skull
12/01/01 - 9:00 am - 0901 Phantom Planet
12/08/01 - 9:00 am - 0820 Space Mutiny
12/15/01 - 9:00 am - 1001 Soultaker
12/22/01 - 9:00 am - 1009 Hamlet
12/29/01 - 9:00 am - 1010 It Lives By Night
01/05/02 - 9:00 am - 0822 Overdrawn at the Memory Bank
01/12/02 - 9:00 am - 0910 Final Sacrifice
01/19/02 - 9:00 am - 0913 Quest of the Delta Knights
01/29/02 - 9:00 am - 0811 Parts: the Clonus Horror
{All times are Mountain and tentative, in the LSC Senate Chambers.}
11/30/01 - 7:00 pm - MST3K TURKEY
0321 Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
701T Night of the Blood Beast
12/07/01 - 7:00 pm - 0521 Santa Claus
Classifieds 3000
pumaman@mac.com writes: "At Puma Man's MST3K Homepage, we currently feature
819 top-quality sounds, 647 pictures from 29 episodes, and a banner exchange,
which now features over 15 members. So whether you're looking for sounds (one
can hear complete host segments stream live), pictures, or look to promote
your own site by joining the rapidly expanding MST3K Banner Exchange, hop on
over to Puma Man's MST3K Site today. Also, however, on a slightly more serious
note I would ask you to refrain from taking my pictures and using them on your
website. Recently, I have seen a lot of this, and while I'm happy to provide
some pictures, I would like it very much if you could contact me before you
take the pictures. Who knows - perhaps we could create a deal for which I can
provide you with exclusive pictures nowhere else to be seen on the web. But
please, don't take my pictures! http://mst3000.virtualave.net"
How You Can Contribute!
#(8)o MST ASCII art
#(8)o Short MSTings of a Usenet posts
#(8)o Any episode/season review
#(8)o 'Bot building experiences
#(8)o MST event experiences
#(8)o Turn your favorite newspaper article into your own about MST
#(8)o Gateway Con
#(8)o Tape trading trials and tribulations
#(8)o MST site development hell
#(8)o Old series war tales
Disclaimers
All material written by club members in this publication does not necessarily
reflect the views or opinions of the staff of MSTies Anonymous. Endorsement of
above publicized activities not operated by MSTies Anonymous should not be
implied. Published material is subject to editing only for spelling, grammar,
clarity, and formatting; other changes are not made without express written
consent of the author.
Events presented by MSTies Anonymous of Colorado may be sponsored by one or
more of the following campus groups: the Associated Students of Colorado State
University, the Association for Student Activity Programming, and/or the
Panhellenic Council (long story).
Mystery Science Theater 3000, its characters and situations are copyright 2001
Best Brains, Inc. This publication is not meant to infringe on any copyrights
held by Best Brains, the Sci-Fi Channel, or their employees.
"Gizmonics" and all related elements are copyright and trademark Joel Hodgson.
This publication is not meant to infringe on any copyrights held by him, so
please do not sue us.
© 2001 MSTies Anonymous
The Poobah mstanon@msties.com
Jet Jaguar kret0419@blue.UnivNorthCo.edu
Zen Psycho zenpsycho@yahoo.com
"You know, that may not really be Chinese."