| Art Gallery |
| BBI Studio Tour 08/07/98 |
| Electric Bugaloo |
| Gateway 2000 |
| Kevin Murphy Interview |
| MST3K Collection, Vol. 6 |
| MST3K, The End |
| Sound Directory |
| Art Gallery |
| BBI Studio Tour 08/07/98 |
| Electric Bugaloo |
| Gateway 2000 |
| Kevin Murphy Interview |
| MST3K Collection, Vol. 6 |
| MST3K, The End |
| Sound Directory |
I came, I saw, I cavorted. The Electric Bugaloo was any red-blooded MSTie's dream come true, and here's my story...
| FRIDAY, AUGUST 30TH, 1996 |
Wouldn't you believe it? It was the day the ConventioCon started and I was stuck in German II: Electric Bugaloo! "Guten Tag. Zigaretten? Ich wolle ein Autometer." How fun. After what seemed like aeons, class let out and I went to make a call. If I was lucky, I could get my hands on some pink silly string for a last-minute costume. Lunch was the typical cafeteria gruel. Perfect for the imminent flight to Minneapolis. I had a few minutes to kill, so I strapped on my Deep 13 hat and made like Forrest Gump. "Life is like a box of chocolates, eh? Well I've got a different opinion!" Suddenly, a character from Kitten With a Whip showed up... Wait, no, that was my dad's Dodge Neon. I asked if he got the can of string. No dice. The flight left in an hour and we had to hurry. Once we stopped off at the house to pick up my brothers' luggage, it was off to DIA. "So this is Denver's new airport!" DIA, AKA Frederico Pena's Circus Tent, was just on the horizon from our house, so it wasn't long before I dragged my poster tube across the terminal and into the train with the wacky propellers in the tunnel. "Up we go! Into the wild, blue yonder!" Almost immediately after we took off, the passengers were offered drinks. That was my first mistake. One of my brothers whipped out a Star Trek book just to annoy me. MST3K and Trek don't mix! I looked out the window and played Tetris for Game Boy to pass the time. Another round of drinks came around. That was my second mistake. The Missouri River came and went, and the trainee pilot began to decline. Remembering my last flight, I began to yawn and pop my ears, but no luck. I had a headache THIS BIG! Just when things couldn't get any worse, duty called just as the seat belt sign went on. Two Cokes can do that, you know. The 747 went down early and hovered over the suburbs of Minneapolis. Baseball field, neighborhood, shopping mall, lake, another baseball field... I was going to explode! Finally, the plane landed safely in Minneapolis/St. Paul. Grabbing my poster tube and edging out of the plane as quickly as possible, I found the nearest restroom and passed some rondo. "Made it to the Con," I thought.
Once at the airport, my family and I took a grey shuttle to the Downtown Hilton. Every passenger inside was a MSTie. And they all had red hair. A brief chat led us to the Hilton, where a Tim Russ look-alike (my bro noticed) checked us in. My mom had made reservations 6 months earlier only for my dad to take me, but I digress. On the 21st floor was our room, a stone's throw away from Jamie Plummer's, as I later found out. Of course, the first order of business was to check in at the convention center. How convenient! Almost all the buildings in Minneapolis were interconnected with a "Skyway" system. You could just walk right over traffic while insulated from the weather and surrounded by MSTies from Coast to Coast. The end of a short stroll produced a large hall, adorned by a giant "MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000" banner. I would've killed for a souvenir like that... Out of reach. The check-in center had 3 main desks. Check-in to get your green pass, Best Brains tour registration, and a volunteer help desk (I think). Off to the side was a table with two large bowls displaying "DOOM with Mike" and "Shopping with Bridget and Mary Jo." Having never played DOOM in my life and having only enough for a few things at Gypsy's Basement, I passed. Got some grub from a deli just outside the door (with... you guessed it! Another Coke!) and went back to the room to rest up.
| KEYNOTE ADDRESS |
The Con was kicked off in grand fashion when the theme song from Season 7 was projected onto 2 large screens in the auditorium. The entire attendance (some 2300 MSTies) sung along to the song, even crying "GET ME DOWN!!!" The lights came up and Jim Mallon took the podium. He introduced the other Brains to standing ovations and discussed Best Brains' current situation. "If there was ever a show that has been helped by its fans, this is that show," he announced proudly. Wild applause followed nearly everything he said.
Barry Schulman took the mike to tell his story about MST. "It was Thanksgiving. And as head of the house, I had control over the TV. It was halftime. I began to surf. Then I came across an old movie that I had seen. But at the bottom of the screen were 3 figures. One of them looked human, but I couldn't make out the other two. They were hysterical. I never went back to the football game. After it was over, I just wanted more. But it was nowhere to be found. I even resorted to watching Comedy Central." The crowd booed and hissed. "Since it was never on, I did what any owner of a network would do: I BOUGHT IT!!!" Cheers.
As the other Brains (including a bebearded Trace) took to the panel, their faces gradually turned a bright red. The newest Best Brain, Bill Corbett, was introduced. But on a sadder note, Trace made his public announcement that he was leaving the show. A wonderful tribute video (by the editor, Brad Keeley) was shown to universal appeal. "Wherever you are... I WILL KILL YOU!" Luckily, Crow will remain on the show. Three mikes were opened for general questions, and were drenched with support group jokes and whining about Trace's departure. Eventually, Paul commented on how they like the shorts, and how they're making a CD-ROM with Voyager. "If you're here from Voyager, turn around."
| GYPSY'S BASEMENT |
Avoiding the insane crowds at Gypsy's Basement, the merchandise room, after the Keynote Address, I waited out the madness back at the Hilton. But come 9:30, I was back down to snag my loot. By the time I got there, all the Amazing Colossal Episode Guides had flown out the door. I had gotten my copy back in March, so I wasn't so concerned. The first thing I saw was a huge stack of CDs entitled "Clowns in the Sky: The Musical History of MST3K." I hesitated slightly, but quickly came to my senses. Only $12. Strolling up and down the aisles, I also picked up a ConventioCon '94 t-shirt for a mere $5. Good thing I stopped while I was ahead. I could've gone CRAZY! There wasn't a CD player in the hotel room, so I had to suffer in anticipation for the rest of the Con... But I didn't want it to end.
| SATURDAY, AUGUST 31ST, 1996 |
"Get up! Get outta bed! Drag a comb across my head!" I'm not a morning person. Manos had been on the night before at 1:00 AM, but I passed as not to miss Q&A. My dad showed up once my brothers and I regained consciousness with Burger King french toast sticks. Note to myself: never eat french toast sticks again. They tasted a bit... Unsanitary. My stomach would turn for the rest of the day. Wasting no time, I ran back down to the convention hall.
| QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
Some 2000 ConventioCon attendees wove through the JC Penny Convention to the auditorium again. Bridget Jones and Mary Jo Pehl drew the names of several lucky shoppers to join them at the Mall of America and have brunch at Planet Hollywood. "Donna Malee." "Donna Malee." "Another Donna Malee." "Donna Malee... YOU'RE OFF THE TRIP!!!" Hearty applause. Mike followed with his DOOM jar full of names on blue slips. "(Insert name here). You're going down." "(Insert name here). You're dead." He continued to brag about his tremendous DOOM ability. (The only person who beat him was a little kid. He was cheered on later at the Costume Ball.)
Finally, the 3 mikes were opened up to questions.
Question: "After making so many episodes, what do you do to stay fresh?"
Bridget: "Maxis with wings."
Kevin: "I was going to say Mentos, but she... Stole it."
Many questions were directed to Trace concerning his departure, despite groans from the audience.
Question: "Who will do the voice of Crow?"
Brains: "I dunno, geez we didn't think of that, etc." Shrugging.
Question: "Jim, since your voice is so different from Gypsy's, could you do her voice for us?"
Jim: "Good morning." In Gypsy's voice.
Question: "What are everybody's favorite episodes?"
Bridget: (Singing) "Girls Town! Girls Town!"
Paul: "I'm a Manos Man."
Question: "What are everybody's favorite jokes?"
Mary Jo: "There's this one quote that always cracks me up." She begins to glow a deep red, barely able to talk from laughter. "In 'Leave the Bronx' err... 'Escape 2000', when one of the silver guys ran around a corner, Trace said, 'Gary saw a silverfish!'"
| 104 WOMEN OF THE PREHISTORIC PLANET |
Immediately following Q&A and a quick lunch episode 104 was playing in Viewing Room 2, AKA "Ballroom EFG." This was my chance to see a piece of MST history: the the birth of the infamous catch-phrase "HI-KEEBA!!!" As I walked into the room and took a seat near the back, I saw some sort of space scene. Taking a quick glance at my Con program, I confirmed it was the right episode. Might as well watch on. A weird wacky chain of events led up to a landing on a jungle planet a few centuries later (and it really did feel that long). Then a very white man attempted to provide some comedy relief by showing off his albeit lame martial arts skills to his comrades. "HI-KEEBA!!!" Ecstatic cheering and applause rose from the capacity crowd.
| BEST BRAINS STUDIO TOUR |
As one of the many MSTies who signed up for the studio tour, I was carted away to Eden Prairie in a school bus around 2:30 that afternoon. Eden Prairie was surprisingly scenic, despite its proximity to Minneapolis. There, in Golden Triangle Drive, among several other mundane offices is Best Brains, Inc.
When you first look at it, it's actually quite small.
| A tiny doorway with a rusted mailbox marked "BRAINS" and a picnic bench serve as the entrance. Off by the sidewalk was the Best Brains, Inc. logo adorned with a pink flamingo. | 
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| Once you walk in, there's a reception desk backdropped by a prop room, right across from the editing room. | 
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| Insert someone stupid here. No, not me! | 
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| You don't want this model of the SOL to fall on you. You break, you buy. | 
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| This was formerly Jim & Kevin's office. Pretty neat, huh? | 
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| Fan art is visible wherever you look, as well as newspaper clippings. Down the only hall lies the now famed Interrocitor and the only award bestowed upon MST3K, the Peabody. | 
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| The offices (and closets) are along the wall, but are shut tight. A right turn takes you into the (gasp) studio! A tape was set up to expain the self-explanitory sets, the Satellite of Love and Deep 13. You should really just relax, for... | 
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| Satelli-ite... of Love!!! | 
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| I PUSHED THE BUTTON. | 
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| Recalling something I read in the FAQ, I checked behind the vault door of Deep 13. Lo and behold! Hidden behind some grey padding was the edge of the theater silhouette! | 
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| Following a winding hallway laden with pictures from The MST Hour (you know, the ones behind Mike Nelson as Jack Perkins) is the writing room. On the TV, Paul and Mary Jo (not pictured here) explain the writing process and the kitchen. (Shudder.) Three videos on a shelf were pointed out, a preview of Season 8. 801 Revenge of the Creature, 802 Leech Woman, and 803 Mole People had been secured. As you walk by the restricted couches and big screen, The Movie SOL was displayed. Just beyond that was the semi-clean kitchen. | 
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| Once through, another room filled with props I wanted to take home formed the exit. Back onto the bus. Whee. | 
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| 403 CITY LIMITS |
Having plenty of time until The Movie, we all decided to go watch the Kim Cattrall and Dean Devlin masterpiece, City Limits. Although it was slightly less crowded than Women of the Prehistoric Planet or, of course, Manos. It was fun to see Robbie Bensen be impaled again!
| MST: THE MOVIE EXTRAVAGANZA!!! |
As I walked into the Convention Center from the Skyway, I noticed a particularly long line to get in. No matter, I just walked to what seemed to be the end... But it kept going. I decided to cut across the hallway to where the line appeared. The line had wrapped arond the Center, and was four blocks long! No matter, the line moved quickly. =P Once inside, it was fairly easy to find a seat despite there was only a capacity of 3700 MSTies. "Great seats!" The Brains entered and commented on how the "Earth Vs. Soup" sketches from #704 were from their own experiences with Gramercy. Booes and hisses. The focus groups said that it was too long. There were one too many host segments, and a "plot arch" needed to be made. "Hunh?" Jim ran a slideshow about the making of MST: The Movie. They all thought the food from the gruffy-voiced short-order chef was great. A video on the making was shown with the cut Movie Theme. The missing host segment, the storm shelter sequence was shown, as well as the original ending.
A meteor shower caused the SOL crew to go down to shelter, where the air was accidentally released.
Tom: "Ah, who needs air?"
Mike: "I do!"
Crow lifted up the bar that was covering the override switch, but a pin came out of his elbow.
Tom: "I'M COMIN' MIKEEEY!!!"
He flies across the shelter, hitting the button with his head.
Gypsy pulled the Interrocitor through the access tunnel while wearing a viking helmet. (It's not over 'til... Naah.) Tom played kiss up to Dr. Forrester while Mike hooked up the Interrocitor to the Hexfield Viewscreen. A small white light traveled through a section of Gypsy's tube and Scrotor (played by Toolmaster Jef Maynard) appeared in Deep 13. Scrotor proceeded to strangle Dr. F. as the SOL crew laughs on. A reminiscent clinking sound eminated from below decks and Crow is caught singing "It's a Long Way to Tipperary" again with a pick axe in his hands.
Jim: "Gramercy had two movies coming out: Barb Wire and MST. They made the majority of their reels Barb Wire, which can now be found in theater dumpsters everywhere."
Question: "Will MST be for sale on video?"
Mike: "Barb Wire will be on laserdisc."
Question: "Is Scrotor a man or a woman?"
Brains: "Yes."
Without any further adieu, the lights dimmed and everyone was treated to "Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie." You know how it goes.
| SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 1ST, 1996 |
| CELEBRITY PANEL |
Kevin hosted the Celebrity Panel with Kim Cattrall (#403 City Limits), Russell Johnson (This Island Earth), and Rex Reason (This Island Earth).
Kim: "I was in my hotel room and was channel surfing. And what do I hear but my own name being sung by a small golden man. And it just went on like that. I yelled for my boyfriend to come in and see this. We were just in shock. A few minutes later, one of my lesser accomplishments came on: City Limits. I called my publicity agent and asked him if Mystery Science Theater 3000 was a real show. He said yes. I called my florist and had an odd request: to send a bouquet of flowers to a Crow T. Robot. It went to a place called Eden Prairie. Later on, Trace and I met and corresponded. And that is how Mystery Science Theater 3000 came into my life." Applause. Suddenly, Trace ran in with a bouquet, tossed them up to Kim, and left as quickly as he came. More applause and laughter. Oh, and Russell and Rex told their stories.
Question: "What's this 'And the rest' crap?"
Russell: "Well, the producers of the show thought they could have 7 people on an island and hide 2 of them away and just pull them up now and then. Of course, Dawn and I raised Hell about it, and it got changed in the second season."
After an hour or so of stories and questions, Kevin announced that the panel would sign autographs for us. A list of impossible items to have sign flashed before my eyes, and I realized that I had nothing for them and an immense line had already formed. Better to just get lunch and get to the Best Brains' Autograph Session.
| AUTOGRAPH SESSION |
| I took the best possible item to be signed, the poster, into the hour-long waiting room. Sci-Fi Channel programming was "on the big screen for you to enjoy while waiting to get signatures." Ha! I had to sit through a pitiful episode of She-Wolf of London. It's too gruesome and MST-able to discuss here, but I'll just say it involved a circus and a satanic cult. At last, I came face-to-face with the Best Brains! | 
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| Juliewa was right inside the door, and was surprised when I asked her to sign my poster. I knew she was about to leave BBI, so it was my only chance. Mary Jo: "Paul needs help spelling his name." I stepped over to Paul after she signed it. Mary Jo: "P... A..." Me: "You make a great devil." Paul: "I bet you would, too." Mike was wearing a striped multi-colored hat, a la Cat in the Hat. Bridget was right beside him, of course, and also signed. (She's married to him, in case you didn't know.) |
| Trace was drinking a coffee to stay awake. Then he spilled it on my poster. Trace: "Oh! Let me dab that up for you... Wait! That's even better!" If you read this, Trace, thank you for spilling it. My poster is even more special now. I'll never forget it. =) | 
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| Kevin was pre-occupied talking to his wife, who conducted the studio tour on the previous day. |
| Me: "I'll bet you're proud of Blood Hook." Jim: "Oh, yeah. It's surprising how many people have seen it." I walked out of the room with a graffitied relic. | |
| COSTUME BALL |
Just before the last event of the Con, I heard the strangest thing outside my door! The haunting Torgo theme was playing with a Torgo costume worn by Jamie Plummer. Doodily, doodily, doodily...! The volunteer guard outside the ball pointed something out. Whoops, I forgot my pass in the hotel room! Mad dash! Once I finally got in, I was amazed (and almost frightened) by the amazing costumes. Lots of Mr. B Naturals (including a Mr. BEE Natural), a pair of Martians, and one too many Torgos. Of the costumes, several caught my eye.
| A creative costume: the painting of the Master from Manos: the Hands of Fate. | 
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| A couple poses as Door 6 while an absent-minded MSTie walks into the shot. |
| Two bars were arranged on either side of the hall, and the place gradually began to reek of alcohol. Before you could say "NummyMuffinCoocolButter," Mike and Bridget called everyone to the stage to begin the costume contest. The other Brains were front row, center, as the judging panel. Bridget: "We're thirsty! Could someone get us some drinks?" A helpful soul carried out the order. Kevin: "What about us?" The same person came back with more Heinekens. I squeezed into the front row to get a few pictures. | |
| Impressive costume of one of the many Gamera monsters. | 
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| Two MSTies posing as Trace Beaulieu and Kevin Murphy. |
| This metallic styrofoam Gamera is the friend of all children! | 
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| Mike IS Captain Janeway from Voyager! Oh, the humanity! |
| NORMAL VIEW!!! | 
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| W is for the many ways that you're served... A is for the admiration you deserve! |
| This was the reason why the Convention was held, err... The wives of Manos, everybody! | 
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| There were many excellent costumes, but here's the list the category-winners, who walked away with $100 and a Movie poster. THE KENNY CUP: A boy dressed as Tom Servo with the head on top of his. THE RONDO HATTEN MEMORIAL: One-frame couple with a chicken from The Skydivers. | |
| JACK PERKINS REALLY GOOD PRIZE: Silhouette Threesome.* |
| BEST OF BREED HUMAN: Dr. Forrester Beauty Queen. (Miss Iowa Corn De-Tassler)* | |
| BEST OF BREED MONSTER: Crawling Eye. | 
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| GOVERNOR'S TROPHY BEST OF BREED UNDETERMINED: Mr. B Torgo. |
*Thanks to Paul Duca for filling in this info!
| MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 2ND, 1996 |
I awoke back in the Hilton to the smell of... french toast sticks. I quickly forced down as much as I could and went down to the viewing rooms for the last showing of the convention.
| LASERBLAST |
This was it. The end of the convention was upon us, so it's a good thing I enjoyed it while it lasted. What a bad name for laser eye surgery! I, with all the other MSTies there, was in disbelief over one Leonard Maltin's rating of the film. A groggy bunch of MSTies stuttered out of the room after the episode to hear "May All Aquantaince Be Forgot" being played on the piano. A fitting end to the greatest event to date in MST3K history.
If you have any questions, comments, corrections, additions, or even your own story, feel free to e-mail me at mstanon@msties.com. Some of the above quotes may be paraphrased.